Wow, this is an incredibly vulnerable piece of writing. Thank you for sharing your experience here. I have not yet drunk ayahuasca but have had many challenging psychedelic experiences myself and can relate to how soul-shattering it can be to have your deepest fears and traumas exhumed from the darkest crevices of the mind. I hope that you will be able to integrate your experience after continuing to reflect on it.

Have you considered using MDMA to treat your newly-identified PTSD? I don't know whether you're put off by all psychoactive experiences right now, but MDMA can be extremely helpful for treating trauma.

Whatever you choose, be well. Looking forward to your future posts and updates.