Imagine everything going great in your life. You have the perfect job, you have an awesome partner, your neighbours are good, your children are happy and healthy and you couldn’t ask for more in your life. Then imagine one day suddenly hitting a brick wall and your entire life coming to a halt.
Life is filled with such instances where you never know when it is going to take a turn for the better or for worse. The ups and downs of life are something which we all have to go through. Walking on the path of life is sometimes like walking on velvety roses and sometimes like walking on thorns.
When all is going good, you are at peace and you can simply strut through life but when a tragedy hits and there is a literal downfall in your life, you are at a complete loss and the way forward seems non-existent. Writing this, I am reminded of a popular saying that goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going”.
While it is much easier to write about these things in an article and give ‘advice’ to someone dealing with the lows of life, it is also vital that we remember that life has to go on. It doesn’t stop at one tragedy. You could either let life slip through your fingers or you could take control. I say, go for the latter. The recovery process may be long but it has to start somewhere.
1. Accepting
Your mind and your heart require some time to accept any loss or tragedy that may happen in your life. It is a result of you not being able to accept that such a thing could happen to you. “Why me?” is a very natural response.
Whether it is loss of a loved one or even a financial crisis, the first thing you have to do is accept that it has indeed happened to you and your life probably won’t be the same ever again but it doesn’t have to stop or be any lesser due to it.
Only when the mind and the heart have accepted the loss, can things begin to move forward. This is also the grieving period which different people do differently. It is a natural response of the body and one that is very important to let out all the feelings.
2. Seek Company
It might be the last thing you want to do during such a period. All you want to do is left alone in difficult situations because we believe that putting ourselves out there during the lows of life will somehow change other people’s perceptions towards us, but it is also very unhealthy to do that.
We are social animals, we feed off of our interactions with other people. It is really helpful to seek out loved ones and their company which can serve as a support structure for your healing. Most of the time you don’t even have to seek them as they will just be there ready to help.
This is important especially when you lose a loved one. You may feel like your whole life has come crashing down and you just feel a big hole in your life. Trust me when I say that that whole will take some time to fill and it helps a lot to just avoid isolation and spend time with your family and friends. Sometimes you have to be there for others who have shared your loss.
3. Avoid Bad Habits
It is very easy to fall prey to the allure of really bad habits during the really tough times in life. This is your brain not being able to cope with the loss and it’s attempt at trying to numb down the pain that it thinks is too much for it too handle.
People often turn towards alcohol or even drugs due to this and their entire lives are changed as a result of this. You must, at all cost, avoid falling into the clutches of these bad habits. Ask your friends to make sure that you don’t or take any other measures but make sure that you don’t.
There are other ways to deal with grief or pain. As I have said, talking to family and friends often helps. As always, it takes time and you might think that you are not ‘healing’ fast enough but you just have to push through it all. Time is the greatest healer, you just need to let it do its job.
4. Stay Busy
An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Once you have dealt with the grief, you should ‘get back to business’. You will feel very odd going back to your life as if nothing happened but this is necessary. Life has to continue.
You could do some extra work in the office or you could take up a new hobby or continue with the old ones. You can also spend more time with friends as I have mentioned before. Even if you have free time, you should try to stay busy. Not doing so can easily bring back the thoughts of loss and old memories.
At the end of the day, you need to recognise that you have crossed the lowest period of your life and it is time for you to look ahead and prepare yourself and more importantly allow yourself for the highs that are yet to come.