Depression. I've got it. So do 16 million other Americans. So I thought it might be worth discussing how to navigate a tough breakup and not fall apart into a depressive state.
I am better when I'm in a relationship. By that, I mean able to experience happiness. I was able to get off of the medication about 6 months into my last relationship. I rediscovered my creativity, my sense of joy and invested in hobbies that I like again. It was a rebirth of sorts. At a year into the relationship I was no longer having any episodes. I felt mentally and emotionally reinforced. Stronger. Happier. Able to face (most of) what life threw at me.
Then we broke up and depression reared its ugly head. I had really hoped that all the healing and work that I had done over the last year-and-a-half would have spared me from this feeling. It did not. It's been a rough two weeks so far. Loss of motivation, loss of interest in hobbies, blah blah blah. You know the list.
Then I realized, maybe this kind of depression is normal. Maybe this is just how you feel when you leave someone that you love. Maybe… It's okay to feel this way. It doesn't mean that all of the work I've done this last year has unraveled, that I will never find my happiness without him, or that I will have to take medication again.
If I don't want it to be medication that saves me, or another relationship, then I guess I'll have to do it myself.
A Guide To Help You Keep It Together
Remember all those hobbies you started doing? You need to do them.
Even if you don't want to. If they brought you happiness when you were in a relationship, they will still make you happy now.
Don't isolate yourself.
Start saying yes to every weird outing your co-workers/friends/neighbors ask you to. Write your steemit post at a coffee shop instead of your lonely apartment.
Don't drink. Or pick up any old vices for that matter.
There are benefits to staying sober during a breakup. Relying on a depressant like alcohol is only going to make you feel worse.
Sweat.
The gym, a hiking trail, a dance class, the dog park-- go. You need the serotonin right now. In the first five minutes you’ll start breaking out of the negative feedback loop that's going on in your head.
Set goals. For tomorrow, for next week, for the next year.
Now that you're on your own you're going to have to make some adjustments. Start really thinking out a future worth getting out of bed for. If you're having trouble envisioning a positive future for yourself, call up some family or friends and talk about it.
Be mindful.
By that I mean pay attention to the thoughts and feelings you are having. Take time each day to sort through them and decide whether they're helping you or hurting you. It's really important to be able to let go of the negative thoughts right now.
