As you may have read in my Open Diary Series, I'm currently navigating a breakup. If you've ever experienced one yourself, you may know that they come with a laundry list of emotions and thoughts: Denial, anger, sadness, grief, relief, hopefulness. It's an overwhelming tidal wave that sends most of us to the bar for a stiff shot of burning liquor, to the grocery store for Ben & Jerry's, or to the pot shop for a few joints, if you live in the right part of the country.
A breakup is a vulnerable time for even the strongest people. It's where vices can most easily take us because the need for some sort of relief or numbness is so strong. I've gone through breakups before. My go-to coping mechanism is definitely a drunken night out on the town with friends. Alcohol helps push the discomfort away into the night's darkness, friends are there to distract from the one who's really missing, cigarettes to top it all off. There's more about my struggle with substance abuse in my previous post All On My Own.
This time has been different. I haven't smoked weed in weeks. I haven't been drunk in over two months now. Other than an occasional glass of wine or beer with dinner, I've stayed away from alcohol. I've also stayed strong in my resolution to quit smoking (going on 6 months). I decided to face my emotions, pain, and scary nature of change completely sober.
The Benefits Of Staying Sober - (Through Difficult Times & Otherwise)
You have the mental focus to think critically about the future.
This was my main motivation to keep away from alcohol during my breakup. There is so much uncertainty in transitions. A breakup can mean you're moving out of an apartment, to a new job or a whole new city. All that change can really effect your future in a lasting way, so staying clear headed and doing internal reflection will make sure you come out of the storm pointing the right direction.
You feel better overall.
Recovering from a hangover is a time consuming process. During a breakup, the sooner you get your feet under you, the easier all this change will be. You can lose a whole day to a nasty hangover that you could have spent productively and moving forward.
You're less likely to call/text him/her.
If we could only take back all the things we said when we were drunk! Don't make a difficult situation even worse by making yourself likely to say something you regret. It's not a healthy way to move forward or process the heartbreak.
Your less likely to make a bad rebound (back to your ex or someone else).
This is different from person to person, but for me, I never feel better about myself by having a drunken fling. It usually makes my head spin even more. This is especially true if you're still living near/on good terms with your ex. By staying sober, I'm able to make judgement calls from a better place than I would at the bottom of a bottle.
You can reclaim other hobbies & activities that you feel passionate about.
Trust me, Friday and Saturday nights sober after a breakup are not fun. You'll find really creative ways to fill your time. It's in those moments of boredom and aloneness that you're most likely to tap into your creative energy! Instead of reaching for a drink, maybe you'll find yourself picking up a paintbrush or drawing pencil or a book you haven't finished. My yoga practice has gotten a lot stronger in the last few weeks!
You'll see what your life can be without alcohol.
Whether you're going through a rough time or just happen to have a lifestyle that involves a lot of bar hopping, maybe it's a good idea to experience what life is like when you're consistently sober. It's hard at first. It may let you feel things you don't like feeling, or stir up old memories you've been trying to forget, but it will help you understand who you are.
You'll get to start your next life chapter knowing who you really are.
I hope this resonates for someone out there! If you're interested in reading more about kicking bad habits, check out my post Hack Your Habits! A Step By Step Guide To Change.
