My first 21 days on steemit...highs and lows

This marks the end of my third week on steemit. Here are some thoughts from a n00b.

I still feel like I only have the vaguest clue what is going on. I've read a bunch of blog posts explaining various aspects of steemit, like how it matters how old the posts you upvote are, how to delegate SP, voting power, reputation, etc. but there's so much going on I feel like I can't see the forest for the trees. It's definitely a bit overwhelming. At least on reddit, I can grok everything that I'm supposed to do and everything that's expected of me from the text in the sidebar of the subreddit. Things aren't nearly as transparent here.

On one hand, I've read some great posts, "met" some very cool people, and seen some beautiful art and other content. This was my favorite post so far by Hive account@pilgrimtraveler:

https://steemit.com/travel/@pilgrimtraveler/how-to-make-spicy-bedouin-hot-tea-from-the-desert-of-wadi-rum-jordan

On the other hand, I find the community dynamics confusing. I'm getting a lot of conflicting information about what I should be doing as a n00b. I have been advised by many people to use services like Hive account@minnowbooster or otherwise nobody will ever see my posts until I'm more established in the community, but then I see people getting viciously attacked for using/running these services. Can someone explain what this is all about? I saw that Hive account@randowhale got shut down, but don't understand why. Should I be using these services or not?

In my first 21 days, I also managed to get banned by the @SPL (Steem Poker League). This baffles me, because as far as I can tell, I've met the requirements to play, and to my knowledge, I haven't done anything wrong that would put my application status in jeopardy. When I inquired about the status of my application after a couple weeks of waiting, I was told this by Hive account@tuck-fheman:

"Generally we just ban people who don't qualify, but I've left your account pending to give you time to build up some history on Steemit."

However, nobody will tell me WHY I don't qualify. Then, 6 days after that post I am summarily banned. What was expected of me during those 6 days? What is 6 days of history supposed to look like? I believe I was active every day or nearly so.

I've e-mailed about it, asked on steemit, and asked on the SPL Discord server. I do appreciate Hive account@bethalea providing a sympathetic ear, but I still can't seem to get a straight answer out of anyone. Obviously, they can ban me for any reason they want, but I feel like I committed some sort of steemit faux pas but don't know what. Have you ever read Kafka's The Trial? It's like that.

I have been feeling extremely gung ho about steemit for the first couple weeks of my tenure, but now I'm not sure this is the place for me. There seem to be a lot of cliques, controversy, and in-fighting that are easy to stumble into and take collateral damage from.

If the @SPL doesn't want my chips, that's fine. I have many other places I can donate them. What concerns me more is that someone thinks I've done something bad enough to justify a ban from a community I just joined, followed by complete radio silence. While I am "neurotypical," some of the interactions I'm having on here make me feel like I'm somewhere on the spectrum completely missing social cues. If anyone has any insight about what I'm doing "wrong" on steemit or how I managed to really step in it in just under 3 weeks, it would be greatly and sincerely appreciated.