Having enjoyed the exuberant feeling of being omniscient and omnipotent for at least 14 billion years, God finally decided to put certain limits on himself earlier this week. In a recent interview, the Creator expressed that his lack of boundaries was leading him in an increasingly hedonistic direction and that doing whatever he wanted eventually felt meaningless. As a consequence, God has decided to re-write his nature and implement a 5 % reduction in his omniscience and omnipotence with immediate effect.
“You have fun with it for a while, but then it gets kinda boring”, God said about the ability to design and change stuff at a whim. “I also wish there were things I didn’t know, like, It’d be really fun to experience learning something new, like a new skill or a fun fact or something”, God continued, saying he eventually got disillusioned by his knowing all there is to know. “I guess what I need is something that is a challenge. Just whatever will give me something to fight for”, God expressed.
Sensing an increasing lack of purpose, God subconsciously replaced it with short-sighted pleasure. “I was engaging in destructive habits, such as this Earth thing, where I created life and tons of suffering. But I guess, by giving those humans tons of pain and challenges, all I did was give them all the things I most wanted for myself, something to strive for”, God said sentimentally. The Lord now expects (and knows through his omniscience) that the 5 % reduction in his supernatural powers will give him a more balanced approach to existence in the future.
Our creator says he is ready to start hustling and improving his work-ethic, saying that if he finds pleasure in his new approach, he might reduce his powers even more to make it even more fun. “Like, who knows, except me, how low I will go on the superpowers, maybe I will take them all away at some point. After all, life with restrictions is pretty cool, and one day, who knows, except me, I might even turn into a restricted life form that has no idea it is me.”