Religion has played a role in my life since I was about 12 years old. At that time, my family decided it would be a good idea to attend church. After that first Sunday, we were regular church members. I participated in Sunday School and continued to do so until I graduated High School.
I enjoyed it for the most part, but I felt like something was "off". This really bugged me since I thought I was fully commited and I was even baptized. Around my sophomore year of high school, I started really listening to a popular podcast called The Joe Rogan Experience. Joe Rogan was the host of Fear Factor, and up until recently was a regular commentator for the UFC. He considers himself an agnostic, and he often shows that in his opinions and discussions that he has with his guests.
As I started to listen, I felt as if I was "home". What I mean is that I finally found a group of people who thought like I did. Joe didn't claim to know everything, and he thinks it is okay not to know everything (including Gods existense).
This new lease on life really made me push away from religion, and I started to go just to make everyone around me happy. Im currently in my Junior year of college, and I am dating a girl I met 2 years ago. She is a Christian and her father is a minister. She is okay with me not being a believer, but I can tell it bothers her at least a little.
My family does not know I feel this way, and I know it would hurt them deeply and there level of disappointment would tear me up inside. I hate that it has to be this way. I'm from the South, and it is so hard to be who I am without feeling so judged.
Religious beliefs should not be the test as to whether a person is good or not. Unfortunately, that is the reality I live in. I dont know if I will be able to come out as an agnostic one day, but I still hope that day will come.
Have any of you had similar experiences?
Cheers guys
