My son has been playing flag football for the past 3 years and every single season, there has been some disturbing behavior among coaches, refs, parents, and child participants. Each year, it becomes more and more competitive as our children grow and expectations seem to continually increase.
Our first season, the coach made sure that all the kids had a chance to be a team captain and rotated the kids with equal time on the field. It was extremely thoughtful, objective, but not a strategy for winning games and especially the championship game when you take out the talent at key moments.
One season, our coach decided to separate the large group into two teams, but the issue became heated when he would change players between the teams during the games. In the end, the director ruled that the entirety of both teams could not play in the championship and less than half of the total number of players. Everyone had an opinion and even my husband considered what our coach was doing as cheating. The good news is that no one else has replicated that concept since and it was banned effectively.
This season has been highly confrontational with everyone arguing about referee calls. There have been some really bad calls and mostly ones that went undetected by the referees. These calls can be game changers in terms of who wins. Our coach has one kid designated to be the team captain and he is talented, arrogant, and disrespectful. He is on the field the entire duration of the game and bosses and intimidates the other kids into submission to the point that it affects their morale. As I write, we are in the double elimination playoffs so the pressure intensifies. Before losing last night's game, my husband and son asked to practice using this kid's football and he refused. Instead of practicing, the kids just hung around and it cost them the game.
Needless to say, we will be changing teams next year. We are fortunate to have had a great experience both first and second seasons on this team, but one person can truly infect the rest of the team spirit.
There are many valuable lessons to be learned from youth sports like self discipline, being active, and working together with good synergy with team mates. However; the downside is that the children emulate the behavior that they witness.
I agree that everyone would love to win and win every single game, but in my mind, I believe that the way we behave is significantly more important towards our children experiencing a "winning" attitude in life.
How many kids are actually going to be professional sports athletes earning million dollar contracts in reality? The majority of our children will have other careers that are mostly impacted by engaging softer people skills. Have we forgotten the golden rule? One of the most important lessons is good sportsmanship and good character because those are attributes that you can take everywhere from the field and beyond.