My son's friend passed away unexpectedly this past week. He committed suicide at age 12. Many people questioned whether bullying was involved, but really, he had been suffering from depression for many years and this was apparently not his first attempt. Most recently, he found out that he was going to move due to a transfer of jobs, and he did not want to leave our niche of the world because this is where his friends live.
He was an extremely well-liked boy by everyone who knew him and he always had a perpetual smile on his face. He is the kid that everyone knew. He was smart, enjoyed sports, and making others laugh in addition to being genuinely kind.
We attended the prayer vigil and the entire community came together with an impressive showing of 500 plus people including many of the children who considered him to be a friend.
The school administrators are keeping a placemat where he ate lunch every day with his group of friends. Children wrote on his desk with messages of peace.
The prayer vigil was the most beautiful service that I have ever attended. It was simple, yet so meaningful. Everyone gathered and the priest reminded us that we can not pray away pain; instead love heals. Everyone grieves differently and I realized that I tend to withdraw as I have too much experience in the grieving department. As words were said, music played, people spoke, my overwhelming sadness left for the first time in my life and what was left was gratitude. I felt immensely grateful for living in a community that bands together. I told my parent friends that we are fortunate that our children are in the same friend group and they are all good kids. They sat together to write messages on balloons before sending them off into the night sky. People held candles.
As an analytical person, I find that I keep searching for answers why. Instead, it is important to realize that sometimes there are no answers to help cope with loss. Loving others will heal pain and gathering to grieve with people who care also eases pain.
Just know that YOU make a difference and that YOU are loved immensely!