Life goes up, and down, and then up, down, sideways, and upside down. So I'm going to share with you my "rough day" survival kit. I hope it is useful for someone out there.
Feel free to just get what works for you, no need to do/read/watch everything.
In my case, it contains some exercises based on philosophy and some daily habits.
First, the locus of control: where does happiness come from? I'll explain a bit, but I think the best introduction is this short TED talk by Gen Kelsang Nyema, a buddhist nun. Just her voice will make you feel better :)
The general idea is that happiness doesn't come from outside, but from within. I know it's not something easy to put into practice, you can't just watch a video and be happy forever. I see it more as an exercise and something to incorporate to your life step by step. I haven't learnt a lot about Buddhism, and would love to hear your thoughts if you have more experience in this.
The second piece of knowledge comes from a different philosophy: stoicism. This comes from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor that ruled in difficult times. His notes or "meditations" contain serious knowledge that helped him and, without him trying, thousands of people that have read them after. A series of books that he most probably wrote for himself (or maybe his son) that are available for anyone to access. This one comes is part of the third meditation from his 4th book:
People try to get away from it all—to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like.
By going within.
Nowhere you can go is more peaceful—more free of interruptions—than your own soul. Especially if you have other things to rely on. An instant’s recollection and there it is: complete tranquillity
- Marcus Aurelius
This one seems again easier said than done, but with some exercise you can work towards that direction. Tools like meditation or gratitude exercises can help make your mind a safe place to rely on when facing challenges.
Speaking of tools, here are two of them.
The first one is a really powerful exercise to turn around your day. It is quite simple but has always had an effect on me when I listened to it. As Tony says: You can't be grateful and angry at the same time. It lasts 10 minutes or so, listen to it here:
https://tim.blog/2016/09/18/how-to-resolve-internal-conflict/
And finally a super easy to do tool that will give you a quick lift whenever you need it. Celebrate your small wins. Here's the idea: have one jar in which you place reminders of things you're grateful for, things you've accomplished or quotes that inspire you. Try to add there things from time to time and read one or two whenever you feel down (or just want to feel better).
Here is some redditor that did this for his girlfirend:
Tim Ferriss has a similar solution that his ex girlfriend made for him: the Jar of Awesome to celebrate the small wins.
You can see him talking about it here:
So that is all for now! For me, today I'm grateful for a short ride with my new bike around the small town I'm living in Germany :)
I'd love to hear what your "rough day" survival kit has! Let me know in the comments :)