“Elegance is refusal.” - Coco Chanel
Back in 2013, Channel 4 in the UK broadcast the documentary Fabulous Fashionistas. This fascinating film profiled 6 women (average age 80) who are getting old on their own – very stylish - terms.
At a time of life when many are slipping passively into a geriatric abyss of fading powers, failing bodies, isolation, senility and loneliness, these ladies are grabbing life by the lapels and kicking it's ass!
It's easily one of the most inspiring films I've seen over the last few years, and the life lessons imparted by the ladies continue to inspire me. Here's a rundown of the most important lessons I've learned from these singularly dazzling dames...
They've made conscious decisions about how to live life
So many of us drift through life, never taking the time to properly think about what we want and where we're going. We exist in a kind of fog – a fog of other people's opinions, values and expectations.
We conform. We tow the line. In short, we live a stunted half-life.
The antidote to this sorry state of affairs is clarity – taking the time to think about what we really want and seeing past the conditioning that diminishes us.
That's one of the most instructive things for me about the ladies: they've got clarity. They've obviously thought about the kind of life they want to live – and they've had the chutzpah to get out and do it.
They've shown courage in choosing an unconventional lifestyle
Several of the ladies dress in a decidedly, um, arresting way. They doubtless get more than their fair share of strange looks and off-colour comments. But bravo to them: they're showing real courage in their refusal to be grey and invisible.
But more importantly, all of them are exhibiting courage in their lifestyle choice. By bucking convention and choosing to embrace life (at a stage when most are retiring to the rocking chair) they're well and truly giving the finger to convention.
They're living proof that decline is a choice – if you use it, you won't lose it!
One lady in particular - choreographer Gillian Lynn (now 91!) - stood out for me because of her obvious good health. Although 86 at the time of filming, she looked no more than about 65. Is this simply down to good genes?
That may be a factor. A much bigger factor I would argue is her supremely active, uncompromising lifestyle.
She stated that she'd made precious few concessions to age, and went on to provide a great piece of advice about the ageing process: if you give it an inch, it'll take a mile.
Instead of making a concerted effort to maintain their physical powers, most older people just accept decline as a given and succumb to varying degrees of infirmity.
Contrast this with Ms. Lynne who (at the time of filming) as well as performing a thorough stretching routine every morning, still taught dance to students.
What an absolutely shining example of the old adage, 'Use it or lose it'!
They're living proof that happiness is a choice
As Rick Foster and Greg Hicks reveal in their book, How We Choose to be Happy, the big 'secret' that happy people know is that happiness is a choice. Happy people consciously and deliberately choose happiness.
The ladies are such a great example of this. Instead of reacting passively to life, they're actively choosing their attitude, their outlook, and their emotions. All of them (as you would expect) have suffered life's usual trials and tribulations, but they're choosing to move forward regardless.
Why not follow their lead? This of course is not necessarily easy - not if (like most people) you have the ingrained habit of un-happiness. But these ladies clearly demonstrate that it is possible to live life on your own terms – and to be as happy as you choose to be.