Did you know that if you read a bedtime story to your kids, you're giving them an unfair advantage over others? Well Mr. or Mrs. Despicable-Human, you are! And it's time to stop and think about what you're doing.
According to this professor,
...parents who read to their kids should be thinking about how they’re “unfairly disadvantaging other people’s children” by doing so.
That quote comes from Professor Adam Swift from the University of Warwick in England.
When you read to your children, not only are you helping them with their language skills, but you're fostering a positive family relationship.
By doing so you are unfairly disadvantaging those who do not have a positive home environment or access to good education.
You monster.
Parents who seek even greater educational advantage for their children, like sending them to well-respected private schools are the worst offenders of all.
While creating strong familial bonds may be somewhat excusable in the case of reading bedtime stories, that justification doesn't apply to private education. Therefore...
Parents who send their kids to private schools are contributing to the toxic inequality that is plaguing our culture.
So listen up all you garbage people who want the best for your kids - STOP IT! You're ruining this great country! Don't you know that equality and fairness are the chief virtues that we must strive to achieve above all else?
Solutions
- Fathers, abandon your families
- The increase in single-parent households has coincided with the increase in economic equality. In order to make things fair for everyone, all fathers should leave their partners and children behind as soon as possible.
- Ensure that your household is always short on food
- How can anyone think about improving themselves when they are fighting hunger and starvation?
- Give up all your assets
- One of the biggest contributors to economic disparity is the fact that some people begin at a higher starting point. If each person simply burns all of their property we will have a level playing field.
- Destroy your national economy
- This only applies if you live in a wealthy nation. A prosperous economy begets prosperous individuals. The sort of global inequality this creates is disgusting. If we stop engaging in trade with others and destroy as much commercial property as we can, we may be able to bring everybody down to the same level.
Remember, inequality is the true enemy. I would rather see everyone equal in slavery than unequal in prosperity. Isn't that how the saying goes?
Thanks for reading! Please follow me 
~Seth
Image Sources
Banner image - Wikipedia (cropped and re-uploaded by me)
See-Saw Comic - Club Troppo
Alexis de Tocqueville - Wikipedia
