I used to be a fault finder. It wasn’t my fault of course ( ! ) it was my dad’s fault because when I was around 7 we used to play a game together. He recited a story and I had to find the faults. That, unfortunately, didn’t make me more intelligent as was his deepest wish but made me focus on the wrong, on the bad things, the frauds, the danger, the trouble, the faults - since he highlighted them so often.
Unfortunately, that kind of life is tiring and unsatisfying because the world becomes an unsafe place to live in and one must always struggle to keep their confidence and trust alive. It was hard for me to cope with how life really is and my relationship with my farther lost its authentic connection and was mostly founded on fear.
Because thoughts are fulfilling prophecies, later life showed me what I saw in it and trust and integrity were again at state. But this time in order to survive I became overnight a merit finder and started focusing on the positive and finding the best out of things by magnifying with my new lenses the good rather than the bad.
Both options did the same thing. Distortion.
In both worlds I, had created cognitive distortion and equilibrium was necessary in order to report reality.
I had to create my own theory about the world and my own way of seeing things. All I had to do was to throw all my prejudices, my limiting beliefs, the way my parents showed me life, and start from scratch. Not being afraid and appreciating were the first steps towards a clearer view of how the world is.
And as I started my new relationship with the world I found out that a freshness in my eyes, like the young children have, was necessary if I wanted to create a new version of things. I needed to restore the real and have a sense of rationality in all that.
It was all a matter of interpretation and because beliefs are fulfilling prophecies, as mentioned above, I had to make a quick decision on where to focus.
Never forget that focus creates reality.
Slowly slowly I found out that the world is a nice place to live in and even though I do not ignore all the bad things that happen, I prefer and choose to remember that the majority of the population is good and makes love every day not war, loves and cares for its children not abandons them, is helpful and polite… and the more I think about it like that the more I see it happen.
Bad always captures our attention but so does good. Try to find the best in you, focus on what works, on the extraordinary, on the miracle. Because miracles happen every day.
Appreciate the good that is around you not because there is no bad but because there is good! Treasure the happiness that is around you and within you and cultivate the habit of seeing it every minute.
Be a merit finder and believe that life merits to be lived despite the wars, the disappointments, the faults, the frauds, the divorces, the failures. That marriages are long-lasting relationships exist, that creativity is within us, that forgiveness lies in our heart, that justice and personal growth is there for us. We only have to choose it from the catalog. That is what personal freedom and choice is about!
Believe in integrity and you’ll see it, seek for happiness and you will be happy, invest in relationships, try to become the best companion and you’ll find one, do not give up, trust human nature and maybe you can make the difference.
The more I worked with myself and believed in people and qualities, the more I raised myself into an awakened and present individual, the more strangers were helpful, co-operations friendly, transactions honest, stumbling blocks stepping stones.
Yes, maybe things do not happen for the best but we can still find the best out of things and use it for our own development.
Please appreciate more of what you have and forget about things that are missing, get closer to people and do not close down, open up and live.
Do not say things happen for the best but find the best in every situation.
We can always find who our true friends are in difficult times or appreciate life more after an ordeal. Wait with anticipation for your new love, your job, your family. Do not take anything for granted but stay cheerful even in a world that lacks logic and makes horrible things. That is not a pollyannaish way of living, it is a strong positive stance because if we stay focused on what is working and on higher qualities we will see more of them.
Water human potential and let it grow.
Do not ignore but improve and life will become a willing partner in our journey into a more conscious way of being.