Today I read Rebecca Solnit's essay "On women's work and the myth of the art monster" at Lit Hub, in which she defends art-making females against charges of selfishness.
Today, in a private group of mother-writers, I read a 100-comments-deep Facebook thread about women lamenting the "shortcuts" they needed to take to finish their novels, memoirs, poetry collections, etc., as if the world will end (or worse, judge them mercilessly) if their kids eat takeout more than once a week or the laundry piles up for a few days.
Today I hesitated to bring up, in another group of writers, an issue of readership boosts vs. payment with regard to my own writing, as I headed to the bank to cash the largest check I've ever received for a publication.
I want page views, see, not just the money. And I felt bad about wanting that.
In short: the world is still making women feel like less for doing more.
My women, let's not join in our own devaluing. I'm telling myself as much as you. Write if you write. Cook if you cook. Rely on your support system when you need to. You are valuable. You are so often selfLESS that to be once-in-a-while selfish--if you were being selfish by following your passion, which you aren't--is not an unforgivable sin. I forgive you. Forgive yourself, too. Let's keep being there for each other because the world isn't changing any time terribly soon!