Well, shit.
In an all-too-familiar fashion, my health has demanded that I take a medical leave of absense. You might remember that I've had to do this once before. It was for Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome (AFS) when I was halfway through my degree at Arizona State University. Now, I'm a good ol' working adult and my health issues have returned, in a different form, with a vengeance.See, in 2012...
An overabundance of stress caused my body's adrenals to shut down. They control a lot of things in your body as it turns out. Although it's not confirmed yet, I have the sneaking suspicion that AFS destroyed my gut microbiome in the process as well. Then, somewhere along the way, I developed leaky gut syndrome and a candida overgrowth in my body.
(source)
The combination of these things, and other still-unknown factors, have caused issues such as:
- Extreme food allergies. (More on that in this post.) I'm currently limited to about 5 different types of food...total. This factor alone has led to other problems like social isolation, lack of ritualistic bonding time with friends/family, and overwhelming feelings of helplessness and sadness.
- Brain fog, memory loss, and lousy recall.
- Depression and mood swings.
- Painful eczema on my hands. (If you reeeally want to see, I share some pictures in this post, but beware—they are graphic.)
- Other skin reactions like acne and a splotchy red "heat rash" on my hands/chest after eating.
- I could go on with all my symptoms, but I'm sure you get the gist. Lots 'o' shit.
But It's Not Just Food Causing Me Issues
About six months ago, it also became apparent that stress would cause these things, too. The more time went on, the more stress caused damage. And the more damage the stress caused, the more susceptible I became to stress. Vicious cycle, right?
(source)
What to do, what to do...
Once I realized that stress was causing damage, I panicked. If this was AFS appearing once again...F%*#adlfkja;dslkfja. That was an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. So, after weeks and weeks of deliberation, it seemed the best option I had was to completely remove myself from my most stressful situation(s). But how?
When I was in college, that meant taking two years off in the middle of my degree because the Graphic Design program was contributing to my problems. Now? The one and only most stressful thing is my job, sadly. It's been an energy-suck for about a year now. I considered finding a new job (perhaps something fully remote) or just quitting and exploring my options while unemployed, but neither of these options seemed right. Among many other reasons, the naturopathic treatments and protocols are expensive and I can't live off savings forever.
My Ultimate Decision
This whole damn situation isn't ideal, but I was hoping my health would fix itself while I was living in a day-to-day stress bog. Nerp, nice try, Britt. I had to make a decision, so I begrudgingly request 30 days medical leave from my job. (Perhaps stress was just making me hate something I once loved anyway? We shall see.)Hello, from Medical Leave Day 1.
I'm not working for the first time in my adult life. It's very strange. Today, I slept until my body felt sufficiently rested. No alarms startled me from rejuvenating REM.
and I went on a walk with Laska to get coffee. We meditated together. I made breakfast without being in a frenzy to finish in time to head off to work. We ate it leisurely. Afterwards, the three of us went on a beautiful hike. (I'm thankful the blistering Phoenix summer is coming to a close....slowly but surely.) After taking a relaxing shower, I was able to read a book until my mind felt satisfied.
(Laska was a little tie-tie after attempting to pull us up the entire way up...and down.)
The rest of today has been spent feeling weird about not having to be somewhere....to answer to someone... to juggle my schedule to accommodate unexpected meetings. I get to decide. It's fucking glorious.
And, here I am. On Steemit again.
Halle-freaking-luja. I haven't had time or energy to write (for myself) in months. I've missed it. And I've missed Steemit—especially all the amazing, supportive, funny, intelligent, ridiculous, adventurous, kind friends here. Anyone else getting excited for SteemFest 2??I AM.
