This week has been hard, but I think I'm finding my groove. Which is a little worrying because I just interviewed for a new job that would 100% destroy the groove I have going on. I suspect I won't get it. If that's the case, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy what I have going on--being a busy bee with my hand in many pots.
It's been a beautiful week here in North Carolina. Cool but not cold. Perfect for coffee on the porch in the morning. I've been making it the gym even if I haven't been working myself exhausted the way I prefer. I'm struggling with motivation, and I think that's part of the balance I'm getting into. I managed to get a couple articles ahead in my content writing, so I was able to take part of today to sit on the couch and read as well as get some of the cleaning done that had fallen to the wayside. Add in a text exchange with my bestie and some extra coffee and that makes for a great day.
I always feel guilty taking time off when I could be making up more work for myself and doing it. Did you roll your eyes? Pretty sure I heard my wife roll her eyes from 30 minutes away on the highway. I do have a habit of keeping myself overbooked. And I never feel it's fair to take time like I did today, except if I hadn't I be internally raging by the time I pick her up. And that's really no way to greet the person you love.
It's nice to be comfortable on the couch, able to take some time to put words to thoughts that aren't just a jumble of to-dos. I need this. I need to sit in my body and relax my shoulders and remember that I'm a person with needs that only I can attend to. That if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else. That's so essential yet incredibly difficult. Why?
I have a home and partner that fill me up with joy. I'm going to make something tasty for us to eat and make it with love. I'm going to take my time about it as well--really put my heart into what I'm preparing for us just like I put my heart into the reading I did and that bit of cleanup. It's good to do things for love with love. Especially for yourself.