Not moving forward. Are your thoughts stopping you from taking the first step?
Good evening friends and Steemians! I'm happy to announce my first blog series, dedicated to improving your mind and soul in your everyday life! Beginning a new chapter is not easy for most people, and today I'm going to break down some thoughts and reflection to help you take that first step.
Doing Well, Why Am I Scared?
I'm in the last days before my finals are due for my class. I haven't started. Am I failing? WHO KNOWS? But why am I not starting my assignment? This class is almost finished and I have an 89% for my current grade.
I don't know if I'm getting an A or B and fear is not knowing something. Fear can sound irrational if it is happening to a friend that wants to leave a toxic relationship or job, but doesn't no matter how upset being there makes them. But when fear is happening to you, nothing makes sense and everything feels more difficult. Why is that?
People use the terms decision paralysis, or over-analyzing to describe it but what does that even mean? I will introduce my theory on one of the things that can happen, when you want to do something but can't. Try to view fear as an emotional place holder until something else DOES happen. To move away from this "placeholder" you need to take actions, so more things can happen.
The Fear of Initial Failure
This post is for people who want to start a new job, move somewhere, or make a big change but gets scared, opportunities get missed or the new thing doesn't happen. In my case, not knowing what my final grade is sabotaging myself from completing the work, making the once improbable negative outcome... far more likely.
Five Things That You Need To Remember
- Accept that you are afraid because you don't know what will happen
- Know that you will continue to not know unless you take action
- Not taking action can help materialize the negative fear into reality
- Taking action might result in failing
- Everyone Fails, and you need to fail to succeed
- I know that because I didn't start my assignment, it could be hard to understand.
- My grade won't move until the last deadline, but I can start on it now.
- If I stay afraid and don't start it, I am automatically getting a zero on it.
- I want to get an A on the final, but I might get a lower grade even if I try.
- I can try harder next time, but I will just as hard NOW.
If I keep going, I'll eventually get that A.
You Need To Be Realistic & Set Personal Deadlines
And no I'm not here to stomp on your dreams. I personally suffer a perfectionism complex, meaning I continually work on something until I think it's the absolute best, far beyond what's required. (Just so you know, most of the time it's extra work from fear of initial failure!) Thinking that if you are perfect, you will fail less will only make you LEARN LESS in the long run. In order to succeed, you need to fail (to improve), but in order to fail- you need to try. Set a deadline, and stick to it- everything done by that time is okay!
Until you try enough times and fail, the fear of initial failure is completely irrational. You can do it!
