In life, we negotiate everything from where to eat with friends to the price of the car we drive to get to the restaurant. If we aren’t happy at the end of the day, then chances are we have some patterns we need to change.
Life is a negotiation and there are two important lessons to learn:
1) we won’t get the right results if we start with the wrong assumptions and,
2) we need to let others know what we want from the negotiation.
Let's start with the first point: we won’t get the right results if we start with the wrong assumptions. As we approach any situation it is important to stop and take the time to ask questions of those involved and check our understanding of what is truly important to them. If we make the wrong assumptions about what others want, then we run the risk of making a bad decision for all. For example, does the cuisine or the location of the restaurant matter most to your friends? This information could be a big factor in suggesting a restaurant that you and your friends will both enjoy. When you bought the car you drove to the restaurant, did you ask if the salesman was paid on commission or customer satisfaction? This information would have helped you to boldly ask the questions you needed to ask when making such a substantial financial decision.
Now to the second point: we need to let others know what we want from the negotiation. If you have been really looking forward to a steak dinner at the end of the week with friends and you end up eating a falafel, you probably won’t be happy. You need to find your voice and express what you want to others. I am not promising that you will get everything you asked for in life but I can guarantee that you will feel better knowing that at least you tried and hopefully you will be able to negotiate a compromise that will make you happier at the end of the day.
Good Luck!!!