We've all been in the situation where we're looking to change some of our past habits.
Whether these are new years resolutions or just general goals for your self-improvement, changing your negative habits and creating new ones is a vital process for your personal development.
But we all know the problem - we might be motivated to start changing our habits and execute them successfully for a few days, but after a while, we lose our strength and determination and eventually return back to our old manners.
It doesn't have to be that way!
The formation of new habits has always been a popular topic amongst psychologists and motivational speakers, so there are many different methods that can help you make the new habits stick.
One of them is the method of the 3 R's - Reminder, Routine, Reward!
The Habit Loop
The "Habit Loop" is a psychological term that was first coined in the 1990's after a study at the MIT. It describes a repetitive pattern of habit formation - CUE, ROUTINE, REWARD.
Humans like to follow quite simple habit structures - there's always something that triggers our habit, then we follow a routine, and then we get a reward - which is the only reason why we've started the habit in the first place.
If the reward for example is eating a piece of cake, our body gets flooded with endorphines once we eat it - but it doesn't realize that a piece of cake also has negative effects. For our body, this behaviour is only positive, which is why we keep repeating it.
The habit loop essentially describes the same process as the 3 R's, it's just that the "Cue" was later switched for "Reminder" to make it a more catchy alliteration.
Now, let's look at the 3 R method with an example!
Let's say you are trying to eat less sugary foods, but everyday during your morning break at work you walk to the café nearby to get yourself a pastry.
That's your routine, it's easy to identify - but what exactly is your reminder, your trigger? Is it actual hunger? the urge to get up from your desk? Low blood sugar? or even just boredom?
And once you have executed your routine, what's your reward - is it only the delicious taste of your baked goods? is it the energy boost you receive from the sugar? or the opportunity to get some fresh air outside? or maybe a combination of these things?
When trying to form new habits, it's important to throroughly analyze your current habits, making sure that you understand Why you do somethand and Why you feel rewarded doing so.
Once you have that figured out, it will be much easier to work on your future habits and the 3 R's.
#1 - Setting the right REMINDER
Setting a strong reminder is a key part to making your new habit stick.
Start by writing two lists - the first list will feature things you do everyday (brush teeth, put on clothes, eat dinner) and the second list will be full of things that happen to you everyday (red traffic lights, a TV commercial comes on, the sun sets).
Now, you have two lists of things that happen everyday in your life - and these are perfect to combine with reminders.
Let's say your goal is to become more mindful - set yourself the reminder that every morning after you've brushed your teeth, you will take 1 minute to close your eyes and be completely in the moment.
#2 - Change your ROUTINE
In the example above, you always had the urge to walk to the nearby coffee shop and get some sweet baked goods during your morning break at work.
Now to change your routine, you need to identify the reminder - do you do this behaviour because you're hungry? because the clock says 11 AM and everybody gets up from their desk too?
If you have analyzed your reminder, you can switch up your routine.
For example, try walking around the block and not getting anything to eat. Or try to get a healthy snack. Or just chat with you co-workers and then go back to your desk.
Try different activities so that you can determine which ones make you feel better.
#3 - Get yourself a REWARD
The reward might just be the most important part of the 3 R's.
Once you have experimented with your routine like explained above, maybe you'll notice that the sugar from your sweet pastry wasn't even your reward - maybe it's just getting some fresh air, or social interactions.
Make sure to experiment with rewards in the same way.
If you're still craving sugar, maybe make it a habit to drink some tea sweetened with honey during the break - and if you've successfully completed your task, reward yourself by allowing yourself to watch an episode of your favorite TV show after dinner tonight.
Some people even reward themselves through positive affirmations everytime they have completed their new task.
Just experiment and figure out what works best for you.
What are other tips you use to help form a new habit ?
© Sirwinchester