Dear Ate,
Yes you, I know you are my number one silent reader here on Steemit. I am doing this to tell the whole world that you are loved. I want to leave a message for you, a message that will forever be imprinted on the blockchain, so if you feel down and worthless, please read this message again and again and again.
Te, I love you. So much. As well as Mama, Papa, Dodong Charles, and Junjun. You have no idea how scared I am when I unchained that damn fetter. You have no idea how frightened I am seeing you gasping for air. If I haven’t caught you a while ago, will you have the chance to read this message? will you have the chance to hear the words I said to you earlier? to tell you how much we love you? You have no idea how stupid I felt being too concerned about lifting other people’s lives when I failed to see how struggling you are right now. I felt so stupid talking about depression, suggesting how to eliminate it to other people’s lives, but failed to incorporate it in you.
All our lives, I was the one who was in the limelight. I was the one who was praised because of my “achievements”. But ate, haven’t you noticed? I never bragged about those “achievements” because I don’t want you to feel worthless. I don’t want you to feel that I am the only one who’s been giving Mama and Papa the happiness they deserve. Te, behind those story of success and struggles I’ve been sharing to my friends, you were one of the reasons behind it. You were the very reason why I strived hard for us. If it isn’t because of you and our struggles in the past, I wouldn’t gain this wisdom I am having right now, and you played a great role in it ate.
Te, I know people see you as the badass while I am the most “buotan”, but those people failed to see how genuine you are. Behind the curtains, I am the most “maldita” and you are the most understanding sister. Remember the times when I lost respect and threw hurtful words to you? Remember the times when I almost gave up in school because I barely have something to eat due to our financial constraints? Remember the times when I failed to see how great my artworks are and considered them as trash?
Te, you never uttered a single word when my respect for you was at the bottom level. You chose to accept them all without saying a word. You chose to understand me when I am at my worst state. Te, during those times of financial struggles, you worked your ass off just to provide us even if it means there’s nothing left for you. I didn’t know how we made it through those times but ate, I will never become an engineer if not because of you. Te, when I was throwing my artworks out of the window, you were there preventing me from doing such. Instead, you kept telling how good my artworks are and you’ll gonna give me tips on how to enhance those. You are my number one supporter and my alter ego. You are one of the most valuable treasures I have right now. You are one of the most loving, caring, kind, understanding, funny, and talented person I know, but you have failed to see how genuine you are. Even me, your number one supporter failed to remind you how amazing you are.
Ate, you promised me countless times for you not to do it again, and I’m counting on that promise. The pain I felt earlier was unbearable, but it somehow subsided while writing this. I am in tears right now, but I am smiling. Kalog ko no? hahaha. I am smiling because finally, I was able to say those words I’ve been keeping all these years. I know I already said these words earlier but I am writing this for you to remind yourself how blessed and worthy you are of our love. Te, I couldn’t imagine myself without you, Mama, Papa, and Dodong. You are my fuel to reach this far. I could never forgive myself if anything happens. Please don’t leave a lampa, ing-ingan, maldita pero gwapa nimong igsuon. Duha ra gani ta, mamiya pagyud ka. Te, I don’t want to lose my sanity kay tawn maluoy ka wa patawn koy uyab hahahahaha. Te, please know that you are loved, I may not say this everyday but I love you. We all do.