It is important to remember that affection is a learned behavior. If spouting words of prose and whispering sweet nothings in your lover’s ear seem like ridiculously embarrassing behaviors, take heart. Even the most fluent of bards had to start somewhere; begin with a simple, “I love you,” and add a few phrases over time.
What Is Public Affection?
Public affection should be discussed with your partner in advance. It is important to understand how your loved one feels about public displays of affection and if it will have the opposite effect than what you are striving for. Childhood values and morals may dictate that all forms of affection be kept behind closed doors and out of view of the public. If this is not an issue in your relationship, public affection can often boost the feeling of security in a relationship because it conveys a sense of mutual dedication and declares your love to the world around you.
Public displays of affection can be as simple as holding holds, a touch on the shoulder or looping an arm around a person’s waist. Intense public displays of affection such as gazing into each other’s eyes on a crowded street or making out on a park bench may be too much for some couples and should be discussed beforehand.
Overcoming Unhealthy Behaviors
Unfortunately, many adults enter into serious relationships with defective coping behaviors and beliefs. Emotional baggage is too often carried into relationships after failed relationships without ever addressing these defective thought patterns.