Self leadership is to apply the guidelines related to leadership - not rules or orders - not in relation to others but to himself
Usually when it comes to leadership and relationships, it seems that both subjects not combine. We tend to think that lead is commanding an authoritarian way, inflexible, and that inevitably encompass the imposition of something to someone. Anyway, in general relate to something unhealthy and even nothing balanced. However, as the word implies, self leadership is to apply the guidelines related to leadership - not rules or orders - not in relation to others but to himself.
Auto leadership involves self-awareness and self responsibility, thus demonstrating greater integrity and consistency on a personal level.
This should be the first premise of all those who dream to have a balanced and healthy loving relationship. The priority is the commitment to the so-called inner self, that is, its essence. The compromise himself.
This kind of leadership has enough strong features:
Self responsibility. Take responsibility for your choices. Your current reality stems from the decisions made in the past. So it is important to realize that it was you who created and continues to create everything goes good and less good in your life. If there is anything you do not like in some area of your life, then it's time to make new choices in relation to this issue.
Be consistent. Commit to what you say, believe and apply it in practice.
Be inspiring and motivating. Giving strength and compliments the other what he needs most, not losing sight of his limits.
Recognize your weaknesses. Assuming the full at the same time doing something to be better in your experience and sharing with each other.
Being integrate and authentic. Risking being who is unafraid of foreign judgments, because he knows its potential, it is true to its values and firmly believes in its truth being this eco - harmonious for you, to each other and to the world. Learn to give too much importance to the opinions of others is the greatest slavery in the world.
Be an example. Especially for what you do and less by what you say.
Do not assume responsibilities that belong not to you. By engaging only with your responsibilities. Recognizing your limits and needs as well as those of others, avoiding co-dependencies.
Self leadership is not an easy profession, requires determination, commitment and an enormous faith in what is committed and decide to be. I would even say it is a risky profession because not all of us are willing to face certain fears that entail exercising this "office"! Self led knows that to be successful in any relationship you have, you have to be aware of certain fears and accept them because he knows everything resist persists!
Using the relationship as an indicator of toxic standards. To help us recognize in us parts that are not yet safe, accepted and loved. Self led knows that every time there is a conflict in the relationship, the thing to do right away is to be as impersonal as possible. As passed to be just a spectator of the film that is happening instead of the main actor. The idea is to create emotional distance. See the movie out allows become aware of conditioned patterns, judgments and fears that it may still have.
These fears are usually:
Fear of failure and error. All you need is to realize that there really is another way to grow. The risk of choices part of the experience. Delete the word "fail" from your dictionary. Convince yourself that you are always doing the best that you know. And when you feel you could have done better, instead of tormenting, use this learning to be better next time. Be happy because you already evolving.
Fear of ridicule and judgment. "What the other will think of me if I do well or roast"? "Am I to transmit a ridiculous picture?" If you delve into this we see that before too are we to judge self and the "limit" in our way of being. We were clinging to a role, status or image that we think will bring us such value and credibility to both aspire.
With this wonder: "What image it is still difficult to leave to the people with which relates to greater closeness and intimacy?
Fear of rejection and abandonment. These fears we all have and bring to a greater or lesser degree are automatically experienced in relationships, in a very personal way, making us lose our center and integrity.
The lack of impartiality and identification with fear, creates space and energy to start to emerge guilt, doubt and anxiety starting with self defense mechanisms, lead us to be reactive behaviors. It's like us feel threatened by an attack to which we will have to survive violently.
Self led knows that if you do not know to be alone and not be accepted as it is full (its light and shadow) such later or earlier fears will hit you at your door.
Soon ask yourself: - What prevents compromise me in 1st place with me?
- What am I willing to recognize me for this relationship to deepen?
- What am I willing to give to this relationship to expand?
- How can I recognize and experience more and more love in my life?
- Choosing to live in fear or love?
Be brave! Face your fears. Shake them and be happy!