Hi, it's Sophia!
This is my second post, so it's time to start those therapeutic sessions with my new Steemian friends! (entusiastic smile)
So, yesterday I was with one of my best friends at a coffee shop, drinking good coffee and talking about life. My friend had some issues with her boyfriend, and considering the fact that I usually have a role of psychiatrist in our group, she was looking for some advice. She told me how she is ready to move in with her boyfriend, but he isn't. They are both 26 and have been dating for two years now, so it seemed like a good time to take the next step. However, her boyfriend doesn't like that idea. He told her how he needs his space and how he feels good with the relationship just as it is now. He also added something about her being too needy.
The first thing I wanted to tell her was "Leave him immediately, please!". But I refrained myself, because I knew how unrequited love feels, and I wanted her to find a way out of this situation by herself. So I decided to ask her some questions, on which we all can try to find an answer to, especially when we are feeling like we are on some kind of a crossroad in life.
1. WHAT DO I WANT FROM LIFE?
This question seems easy at first, but it is actually quite difficult to answer. It is hard to find and pursue your passion, and sometimes people just fall in a routine of their lives and forget to actually live. You only live once and you should try to achieve everything you want in life, because this is your only chance to fully enjoy it.
2. AM I DOING ENOUGH FOR MYSELF?
It is a good thing to care about other people in your life, but you shouldn't forget about yourself. You are important. You deserve your personal time and you should enjoy your hobbies and take some time for yourself every once in a while. Sometimes people stop caring for themselves and completely devote their time to a person they are in a relationship with, only to find out that someone else became the purpose of their life. Even though love can be an amazing and thrilling adventure, you shouldn't lose yourself in it.
3. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I PUT MYSELF FIRST?
My friend couldn't answer this question. She just couldn't remember when was the last time she made plans on her own. She said she always waited for her boyfriend to have time for her, not the other way around. This may be a big problem, because people tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves. If you do not think of your time as something important, no one will. However, if you put yourself first, people will appreciate you more.
4. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME?
Each and every one of us has some unique qualities and talents. And while some people know how to pursue their dreams and use their qualities to their advantage, some people tend to chose the easy way out, settling for much less then what they really deserve. Be aware of your strengths and use them. You could really do something amazing if you just try.
5. IS IT TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE?
Usually, when I'm feeling like I'm not happy with where I am in my life, I can feel that annoying little tingling sensation in my stomach, just like that feeling right before you take an exam, or maybe that feeling when you miss a step. It is a way my body tells me "Do something! Make a change!". The last time I felt it, I made a dramatic change in my life, and although it was scary, it made me so happy and I got a great opportunity and an amazing job position. Whenever you get that annoying tingling feeling, don't ignore it. It may change your life in a very good way.
6. WHO ARE THE PEOPLE I CAN RELY ON?
When you hit some bumps on the road of your life, you will be able to figure out who your real friends are. Those are the people you want to keep forever, because they will be there for you in every situation. When some people talk to you only when they need you to do something for them, they are probably just using you. So be careful at picking your friends, and don't forget to seek their help. As they say, friends are the family we chose with our heart.
7. WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?
Maybe it is a long walk with your dog, or the smell of fresh mowed grass in the morning. Maybe it is putting your make up on, or playing a guitar. For me it is a warm coffee and Harry Potter series. Whatever makes you happy, don't stop doing it just because you feel you don't have time for it. You should give it a try, and find some time in the day reserved for nurturing your soul, because doing things that make you happy will improve your life in many ways.
I hope you liked those questions just like my friend did. She says she is ready to make a change. Are you ready?
I am looking forward to reading your replies!
Love,
Sophia