Isn’t it crazy that one bad interaction with something can give you an aversion to said thing your entire life? One of my coworkers got chased by a small dog and still has panic attacks when he sees dogs in public. Personally, I cannot be alone in a dark room after seeing a scary movie alone when I was in the second grade. Have you ever met an asshole and then kind of hated everyone with the same name as them? Like a mean Tiffany or a douche named Chad?
I find our ability to focus on the negative astounding. Someone could do something good for you their entire life, and the one time they fuck up they deserve to be shunned. For example, in a tv show I like called GLOW these two women are best friends for years but spoilers but not really cause this happens in the literal first episode one of the main characters sleeps with the other’s husband.
Now you might be thinking, “That’s fucked up.”
And I agree.
But why?
Shouldn’t years of a loving friendship override the hurt that this one moment caused? Wouldn’t it be normal and more rational for us to all think about years of support, love, and encouragement that was poured from one person to another?
One of my best friends just recently went through a very rough breakup and our friend group is still friends with her ex. She is currently studying abroad and on the 4th of July we were all hanging out, being stupid, posting Snapchat videos, and having a grand ole time and she freaked out because we were hanging out with him without her.
Shouldn’t months of us being her support system, shoulders to cry on, friends and companions through it all forgiven this one moment?
Maybe.
But we are emotional creatures and it’s amazing to think about how we take the good stuff for granted but the bad stuff to heart.
I started thinking about this because I remembered a fight me and my mom had when I was in high school. In high school I was a BITCH to my poor parents and often took them for granted. One time me and my mom were arguing and I was naming all of these horrible things she’s done to me like telling me to watch my weight or yelling at me about being a bitch to her.
How fucking unreasonable.
Well, she responded with, “Well why don’t we talk about all of the things that I do good for you?”
And now that I’m in college, thousands and thousands of miles away from my parents that’s all I can think about and the bad stuff is harder and harder to remember.
And honestly, that’s all I can think about when I reflect on any experiences that I’ve had. When I think about old friends that I’ve had major fallings out with, I don’t remember why (unless it’s particularly fucked up, then that bad boy is INGRAINED in my goddamned memory) and I can only really remember the good memories. When I think about shitty jobs I’ve had, I can remember the feelings why I hated it, but the memories I have, for the most part, are good.
And I wonder if this outlook on life progresses as you get older... ~In an annoying way~ I am indeed older now than I was on any memory I have, so in some way have gained a miniscule amount of wisdom, SO I can reflect on it.
Is that what happens to old people? Is that why many of them are so happy all the time? Cause by that point they know to look at every encounter they have with someone and think: Let’s appreciate literally every good second that’s about to happen here?
And they do?
At least my grandfather does.
Wild.