Please take a moment and list your safe options. You have at least one.
Freinds or family or co-worker.
Please, get out, get away, move forward. This is beyond toxic and is sucking the life out of you.

You are a beautiful woman. By how you wrote this, you are obviously intelligent and know deep inside this is not right.

After 2 days away you will exhale. After a week, you will breathe easier. after 4 weeks you will find that feeling of hope and not looking back.

If you just try. Otherwise you are stuck in time and situation. You are too young to let it stop you in your tracks.

Tell someone close that you need a chance. You need a bridge to a better future for yourself. It takes time, but it will happen. But you must cut ties with him. First on an emotional level. Then on a physical level.

Go! Move! Don't look back! Shelter yourself with the people who know you best. You will still be loved by those who love you. You will be admired more by the same ones.

I am a 55 year old man. I just glanced at your post. Please, you owe this to yourself. Life is not supposed to be like this. You were never signed up for this crap at birth. Why accept it now? You want to love and be loved. Like all of us . Be glad for the better times with your man and tell yourself it's time for a new chapter in your legacy.

This is your legacy. When you are 80 years old you will look back on the bad relationship.... with wisdom.

This is your legacy. This is your time.
Big hugs!