For too long, I gave them the power to break me.
I've decided to take that power back.
I forgive you not because you deserve forgiveness, but because I deserve peace.
As precious as it is, don't ever give your inner peace away.
(Don't mind my vulgarity, just trying to subtlety drop a couple of F bombs)
For as long as I can remember, whenever a challenging person would interact with me, I would always act upon emotion. There's no hiding from it, most people will tend to act impulsively when a triggering situation comes up. I came to the realization that this was not the best way to deal with tough people. As hard as it is, I started tricking my mind into analysing a situation with my rational mind, before jumping into what I would normally say with my emotions. To be honest with you, it's a life changer. Taking an extra 20 second to really think and take a deep breath before responding, has seriously changed the final outcome of the situation for the better.
I know it's easier said than done, and that we, as human beings, are naturally emotional. However, I could definitely say that even though you can not predict when each emotion will come up, and when these tricky situations will take place, you can for sure plan things ahead because you know from past experiences, what has worked best when you are in the middle of feeling angry, sad, or lonely. Remember that when an emotion rises, it will try to take away all of your focus. Don't let that be the case. Your mind is probably the most powerful tool you have. It can help you build your life in a positive way, just like it can do the opposite.
Be careful not getting stuck in a destructive mental pattern. I have lost countless years of my life doing so. The following adage could not have said it better: “What you think about you bring about” . It does not matter how you feel about a thought. As long as the mind thinks it, it will manifest its way into your life.
Do you get what I'm trying to say here? Oh and hey, don't forget that practice makes it perfect. (Thanks to all of my soccer coaches. Now I can't stop using this one, even 5 years later).
Let's say someone has said to you something hurtful, or an unpleasant event happenned, which contributed to make your day difficult. A couple of years ago, I personally would have started crying and would blame myself and ask what the hell is wrong with me. (Don't do this and most importantly, do not ever think you are the problem).
Imagine yourself as a teacher. Is it better to blast and prove them that you are right? Or is it best to teach them patience, calmness, compassion? And I can promise you that if you respond in a calm manner, they will probably sit back and apologize. Oh and they will be for sure in a destabilizing position, because they probably did not expect you to react so kindly. See them as a teacher too. They are making you practice your reacting skills! They will be the reason as to why you will eventually master them... Thank you guys!
We are all fighting human battles.
Maybe they are just trying to cover their deepest scars the best way they can.
Or maybe they are just pure assholes.
It does not matter.
At the end of the day, it' s on them, not on you.
Remain calm and kind. Or maybe simply ask them: ''are you having a bad day''? (I tried this one and the person apologized like crazy.... sometimes they don' t even realize they are being harsh).
We can't control how we feel...
But we can control how we act...
Ever heard the saying ''be the better person''?
YES baby YES.
Apply it into every aspect of your life and you will thank me forever.
Thanks so much for reading guys!
When you feel down, remember this: ''Life gives the hardest battles to its strongest soldiers.''