You don't trust her.
One moment, she's all smiles to your face and the next, she stabs you in the back.
Why is she so unpredictable? you're thinking to yourself.
Might as well not invite her anymore, she always has this habit of crashing the party before it even starts.
Simply put, you don't trust happiness because you fear it. You fear it slipping through your fingers. At any time. Might as well push her away before she makes an appearance.
You've found comfort in the pain you've known for so long. Ahhh the good old pain.
Because yes, there's such a thing as a comfort zone for pain.
The truth is that what's familiar can easily become addicting.
The feedback loop is essentially that.
In his book '' The biology of desire - Why addiction is not a disease'' , Marc Lewis describes the feedback loop as about the most powerful thing in the world. He states that: '' repeated experiences establish patterns, forming habits, and those habits link with other habits that also evolve with repeated experiences.''
In fact, with continuous repetition, the so called experiences slowly but surely mold themselves into ingrained habits.
And since most of our habits stem from our unconscious, to break a habit, you need to stop it in its tracks. But even more so, you need to become aware of the stimuli that makes the initial call for the habit to kick in (the cue).
However, it can be quite the challenge to withstand something that has become almost like second nature to you.
We can find ourselves stuck in a feedback loop for a myriad of reasons.
Anything that contributes to modify or brain structure and which we repeat on a regular basis can potentially cloud our better judgment.
Food, substances and sadness are powerful enough that they can end up making us feel miserable, but interestingly, the kind of miserable that takes away our capacity in the moment to choose better.
But knowledge doesn't necessarily change behavior.
There's a world in between knowing better and doing better.
