Romantic relationships are like war zones in that they bring out the worst out of the human being. Like walking in a minefield, it is only a matter of time until you step on your partner’s weak spots. When it happens, you are advised to fasten your seat belt as you may be in it for a bumpy ride. Awareness is a tool of choice to fight the good fight on the Love battlefield. By becoming aware of the patterns and mechanisms that govern your actions and reactions, you can learn to equip yourself to be in better and smoother control of your future ways of behaving with your loved one.
Most of us could win the Nobel Prize of projection on any given day, but as you know, to win such a highly reputable prize, one needs to “do the hard and dirty work.” And that’s exactly where most of us fall short. We live in an era where the law of the minimal effort rules our every move. Where repression and avoidance are over utilized. Where taking ownership for our actions is becoming all the more scarce af.
All in all, we conceal our vices behind a facade made out of steel. Yet by doing so we cheat ourselves out of the opportunity for growth. The irony is that we are the fastest to point out what’s “wrong” with our spouse, but we never mirror this exercise by applying it to ourselves in the first place. Instead of controlling what we can by working on ourselves, we focus on controlling what we can’t, by reprimanding our partner.
Hell is other people, Sartre knows it best.
