Whilst perusing Steemit posts I came across 
I glanced into mine, and wondered if anyone would even believe what I had in mine, and made a post sized comment regarding the contents.
Later, checking in with said post, I was mortified to to see
Considering most people on steemit presume that I am a man, I thought that this might set the record straight. I am a female, although I have always been ‘one of the boys’ due to my profession as a painter and decorator.
For the record, I call everyone sausage, and I have a jack russel x sausage dog, hence then name steemsausage. For those men out there that have told me that I should change my name as it is misleading, I just wanted to say, that pendulous thing between your legs does not give you exclusive rights on the word sausage!! Here it is mine.... all mine!! evil laugh
It’s been a hectic week, but lurking in the back of my mind was the need to give my hand bag a clean out ... thanks choogirl. So it is with a red face and heavy heart that I expose my mini skip handbag contents.
To ease me gently into this challenge, let’s start with the bag.
The bag
The bag was purchased at a shop called ‘Ethos’ in Airlie Beach. It cost $55 and and was made in a village that had been devestated by some sort of disaster.
Foreign aid delivered concrete in water proof bags to this place, and once the concrete had been used the bags became rubbish. Locals in the village saw these bags as a viable material with which to make some products to sell.
So,my handbag was born. It started as functional, turned to garbage and now is a functional again, and contains a LOT of garbage!! All the profits from the sale of the bag went to the village where it was made. It is so strong, waterproof and really well made. This bag has been subjected to unbelievable abuse for at least 3 years and is still going strong.
Love the bag.
Now for the contents ... oh choogirl, what did I ever do to you!! sighs as face reddens
Said Sausage bag Contents
- Pen
- Shower Cap (hmmm.. sometimes when I’m painting ceilings I don’t like to get paint in my hair - sounds almost viable)
- Razor (This has been in my bag since the cyclone as on the mainland we had no water, but on the very self sufficient island, we did. I was able shave my sausage legs with plentiful water at work... (that’s is a sad truth)
- small cake of soap -(that has also been in the bag since the cyclone as I had the bathe in crocodile infested creeks on the mainland during the weekends when I was unable to steal a shower at work)
- Apple phone/iPad charger
- A selection of lighters.
- A small shell, called a cats eye shell. -This has the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence on it, and reminds me of my Dad. It was his favourite mathematical formula, and the pattern is found in nature everywhere. On the opposing side it looks like a cats eye. (Australians are renound for their creative naming processes)
- A screw .... (everywoman should have access to a good screw at all times)
- Assorted cards -(that impede my phone wallety thing from closing so are stored in the front pocket of my bag)
- Tweezers - (they have been lost for ages, thank you choogirl)
- Sweet pea seeds - (in case I feel like a spot of gardening ...what ...? When that day happens, I am prepared)
- A decorative ornament - (that fell off a sandle I wore as a bridesmaid)
- A semi precious polished stone -(a hippy gave me for some kind of well being!)
- Ceramic washers -(from a pool pump that I use when I fire metal clay during my jewellery making process)
- Bank stuff
- Loose change
- Lens cap to my canon,- (thank you choogirl once again. It’s been lost for a while)
- A tattered business card to my favourite shop in Twizel New Zealand - (A habidashery and hunting shop - an unusual store I could get lost in for hours!!)
- A purple sharpie felt tip texta
- A Spray can of Bushmans personal mosquito and fly spray - (tropical strength contains deet, essential for the tropics)
- IPad mini
- Lady thing
- Reel of cotton
- Christmas card from Mum - (has since been ripped up and used as a packer to level an annoying table at my best mates house)
- Pen from Qualia
- Single use eye drops
- Spare pair of socks - (if you saw how much rain we are having today, and you lived here, you may well understand)
- Gardeners hand cream -(my mother swears by, so when the urge strikes to plant the sweet pea seeds, I can moisturise my hands after being in dirt.... always be prepared)
- IPhone 7+ phone case / wallet -(that has all sorts of problems closing)
- IPhone charger
- Scarston - (blade for shaving varnish or paint off timber - carried to and from work for tax purposes. I can claim my boat tickets to the island if I carry tools with me to work!!)
- Calvin Klein ‘Obsession’ - (my everyday scent)
- Rexona deodorant -( sexy bouquet)
- Lip balm 50+ - (Im always in the sun plus looking good is a must!)
- Book - Mindfulness -(emergency tool because sometimes I forget to be mindful)
- Small box of lady things
- Spare spectacles -(because getting older is so fun)
- Keys to all the places this sausage needs (large so I can find them in said bag)
- 5 in 1 tool - (1. Scraper 2. Half circle bit scrapes paint out of roller 3.Hole in the middle pulls nails out 4. End had hammer plate 5. Blunt edge opens paint cans. Again tax purposes)
- Two pairs of ear phones that are always in knots! - (very handy in case I grow another set of ears, and it helps drown the the constant bitching and whinging of men from all around me!)
- IPad Air in pleather case with keyboard
- And last but not least, ugly safety sunglasses - (because as we all know, safety never takes a holiday! My groovy ones are always on my head!)
You will all be relieved to know that I took the kitchen sink out of my handbag yesterday to avoid unnecessary embarrassment!
In the spirit of the resurrection of the challenge
I nominate:
evil laugh echo’s around the globe