As humans, we have a thirst for trying to find our place in the world. Steemit brings this need to the surface in ways that regular social media (Facebook, Instagram) cannot compete with.

After you're in Steemit for a while, you begin to ask more and more questions. To most, it's a confusing maze, and that is because it was created for very different reasons than Facebook. Facebook wants to hook you, and it doesn't care how. Steemit wants to hook you, but your behavior matters.

It matters a lot.

Steemit cares who you are as a person, and no other platform has ever given a shit who you are as a human being. Now, I know there are not enough people who give a shit about others currently, and there are certainly not enough readers, but the programmer who designed this system has a very different perspective on life than Zuckerberg. The more I learn about Zuck, the less I like him. He only cares about hooking you. That's what made him rich.

This is why there's confusion, because I would guess people don't know who they are. It's a shock to the system because there's a very different system operating in here. It's cloaked in unknown layers.

I think most people who are searching for some kind of truth, meaning or purpose in life have a breaking point, a mind-melting experience that changes their course in life forever. I had this experience, as I am and have been a person searching for meaning and a purpose to existence.

It was not too many years ago that I was a heavy drinker. And I could not form very good sentences on paper. My mind was in disarray, and I felt anxiety, fear and confusion to a level that was probably unrecognizable to me today. Writing was frustrating because my mind was in a ball of confuison. I made no sense, mostly because I was drunk or sad most of the time.

Yes, I have existential doubt all the time and I am aware of the fact that nature and the universe doesn't actually care about my feelings or my existential pain.

This is part of understanding that consciousness does not mean greatness. It only means that I begin to ask questions like,

"What is the purpose of humans being able to be aware of their own existence?"

Then I go into the rabbit hole, and wonder why I am even alive.

What is my special purpose? What can I do that no one else can do?

These thoughts tend to lead me to depression because the courage is not all there yet.

But they also tend to get me thinking in a more practical way. 2011 was my mind-melting year.

I had a total mental breakdown.

It was my mind's way of shedding the programs that were not working within me. I also had just emerged from a terrible relationship and I was questioning my ability to make survival decisions. Did I really hate myself that much to choose someone bad? Yeah, I did. In some respects, my overly energetic mind has been my worst enemy.

It wasn't until later in life that I learned how to harness my energy and turn it into something creative, like writing or art. This leads me to the whole reason I wanted to write today: how to figure out what course to take in life based on who you admire.

In 2011 I found out about Bitcoin. I was intrigued. I also began my search for who is changing the world. The first name that popped up was Vandana Shiva, a powerhouse who has taken on Monsanto in India and won. She taught me how to fight and to be brave. I never met Vandana, but I studied everything about her. My weakness at that time was my lack of courage.

I was a spineless wimp.

I didn't know how to fight for myself. She taught me that it's necessary to fight for the right things. She took down Monsanto in India using her intellect and so I thought if she can take down Monsanto, maybe people can make a difference. Maybe, just maybe there is hope for me.

After Vandana, I went searching for others who are making a difference, as one single individual. I found lots of people and one person still continues to make an impression: Sanduk Ruit.

Sanduk Ruit is an eye doctor who has restored vision to over 100,000 people, mostly in Asia and Africa. Here's his wikipedia information:

Dr. Sanduk Ruit (Nepali सन्दुक रुइत ) is an award-winning Nepali eye surgeon whose small-incision cataract surgery, which utilizes inexpensive intraocular lenses, has enabled hundreds of thousands of poor cataract patients in Nepal and other countries to regain their sight. Over the last three decades, he has successfully treated over 100,000 people across the developing world, and has taught his technique to other eye surgeons.[1]

From CNN:

"Driven by a belief that the world's poorest people deserve safe, affordable and high-quality eye care just as much as anyone else, Ruit has made it his mission to eradicate avoidable blindness.

"Ruit grew up in a small village in the Himalayas so isolated that the nearest school was a week's walk away. When he was 17, his sister died of tuberculosis despite the disease being treatable. The loss left Ruit with a sense of urgency to pursue a path that benefited others, not only himself.
It's a decision he doesn't regret.
"I am so grateful that I can make a difference in so many people's lives," Ruit said.
At 59, that same sense of urgency that motivated him as a young man remains. When asked what it feels like to watch as a patient sees the world clearly the first time, he responded: "It really recharges you and makes you move forward."

So, what are the components of his ability to change the lives of over 100,000?

The first thing to recognize in his story is his own suffering. He had several tragic experiences that scarred him.
The second thing to see is that he used his suffering as fuel.
He possesses a talent for surgery.
He had rich clients who paid him well for his services.
He used his own resources then to restore vision to people who were unable to pay.
In a way, he acted as a person balancing out the wealth inequality, which is mostly geography-based.
The people whom he restored vision to in North Korea didn't have control over their lack of resources.
Sanduk never judged anyone based on their geography. Instead, his goal remained pure: restore vision to people on earth.

So, whenever anyone congratulates me on anything or thinks I am a "Steem celebrity" or anything like that, you will understand that I feel that I have achieved very little in terms of how I see someone great behaving. To me, my heroes are Vandana Shiva, Nikola Tesla, Sanduk Ruit and anyone who causes massive seas of change for the better. When I was studying Nikola Tesla, I learned that the electric engine in my hybrid car was invented by Tesla. Tesla's desire to wirelessly transport energy (freely) for all humans on earth is something that still inspires me in fundamental ways. I want people to be free. That's what drives me more than anything else.

I never considered the quest to become a millionaire as something to strive towards.

It's more about what you will do with your millions that matters.

So, who inspires you and why? That's what I was thinking about today.

By the way, there's a child pornographer in Steemit. I feel disgusted after seeing the comments on child porn: Hive account@iamgod.
We need a structured way to deal with those scumbags who think we are going to tolerate child pornography in here.