A reasonable degree of self-discipline has many advantages. People who can control themselves and their behavior are typically more resilient, more successful, healthier and, ultimately, happier in life.
Contrary to widespread prejudices, self-control is not about a fun free, strict and joyless life. On the contrary, only those who are "on par" with themselves and their actions can really enjoy the good things in life.
A piece of cake of cake only brings full enjoyment, if one is not tormented by a guilty conscience when eating. If you can not look at yourself in the mirror anymore, or are suffering from illness and reduced quality of life due to overweight, and fully know that the reason for this lies in regular loss of control and binge eating, you can simply not enjoy eating anything to its full extent anymore.
Self-discipline gives us the strength to keep up with decisions and resolutions. It is the most basic prerequisite to achieve any of our goals in life.
BUT HOW DO YOU STRENGTHEN YOUR RESOLVE?
Small steps
Those who try to make big jumps, often fall on their nose. Many of the objectives which we set for ourselves require immense effort. To stay with the example of obesity: Once created, fat reserves are not released by the body very easily. If you want to get rid of the calories of a single chocolate bar through sport, you need to go riding a bicycle (at fast pace) for at least an hour.
A kilogram of body fat already corresponds to the energy consumption of ten hours spent jogging. Your splendid new-years resolution to loose ten kilos through sports, takes a jawdropping 100 hours jogging, assuming you consume absolutely no food during that time. No wonder that our subconscious mind and thus our self-discipline surrender more or less immediately in the face of such obstacles
The better way is to plan out small, manageable goals. If you have a big project or goal before you, make sure it is divided into a logical sequence of tangible small steps. Like the old street sweeper in Michael Ende's fantastic book "Momo" so aptly describes:
"Sometimes, when you've a very long street ahead of you, you think how terribly long it is and feel sure you'll never get it swept.'
He gazed silently into space before continuing. 'And then you start to hurry,' he went on. 'You work faster and faster, and every time you look up there seems to be just as much left to sweep as before, and you try even harder, and you panic, and in the end you're out of breath and have to stop - and still the street stretches away in front of you. That's not the way to do it.'
He pondered a while. Then he said, 'You must never think of the whole street at once, understand? You must only concentrate on the next step, the next breath, the next stroke of the broom, and the next, and the next. Nothing else.'
Again he paused for thought before adding, 'That way you enjoy your work, which is important, because then you make a good job of it. And that's how it ought to be.'
There was another long silence. At last he went on, 'And all at once, before you know it, you find you've swept the whole street clean, bit by bit. What's more, you aren't out of breath.' He nodded to himself. 'That's important, too,' he concluded."
Develop and cultivate habits
The ability of our brain to automate actions, is in my opinion one of the most amazing discoveries in recent neurological research. If we follow a certain behavior over an extended period of time on a regular basis, for example if we always put in ten minutes of warm-up exercise in the morning, right after getting up and brushing our teeth, it becomes a habit (formation of a habit typically takes between 6 weeks and 3 months).
The trick is that established habits do not consume willpower anymore. On the contrary, once they are well set, a conscious effort would be necessary to depart from them. Even better: Scientists have in fact found that well-cultivated habits additionally also strengthen the freely available willpower. People with strict rituals usually have more "free" power for self-control.
It is important to note though, that habits can only be established in small steps. In this area, point one and two of this list overlap. Those with the most ambitious, biggest goals tend to fail the most. It is therefore much better to start the habit of "morning exercises" with just a bare minimum of five minutes a day and turn it into a lifelong ritual (which can then be expanded over time in small increments), than to fail because you thought it would be cool to start with an hour. Oh and most importantly: Never try to establish more than one new habit at a time!
Challenge yourself and practice to say no
Willpower is like a muscle. Once it has been exhausted, it takes time to recover (see point 4). Just like a muscle, it can also be trained and built up. Consequently making targeted efforts to control impulses and not to "cave in" immediately, yields long-term benefits in greater discipline and self-control.
Have a break, relax
If you ever exercised with weights, or did any kind of endurance sports, you know already, that breaks after training are just as important for building muscle as the exercises themselves. Constantly depleted muscles can not grow. Exactly the same applies to self-control and willpower. If you are always under stress and exhaust your ego, there will be no growth. Periods of rest and relaxation are important.
Create liability
Humans are social beings. The desire to gain recognition and not to be seen as incompetent or stupid by others is deeply rooted in our thinking. That is why our own individual willpower can also be increased with a simple trick: Adding liability to others.
It helps, for example, to speak either publicly or in private about goals we have set for ourselves, as well as which milestones we have already reached. The liability this creates has a direct impact on our chances of success.
This tactic is even more effective if it is associated with a tangible loss. Lets stick with our example of a weight-loss target: Why not ask a good friend to check the progression regularly and add a "penalty" in cash when intermediate goals are missed?
This works even better, if as a punishment you agree to make a donation to any kind of organization you really despise. Research has shown, that the blank fear of having to support opposing political or religious views with hard earned money, enables people to literally walk through hell.
This article is a translation of my original contribution (in german language) on www.sturmhafen.com
I am posting this not only with the hope that it might inspire people to do further research into the topic and maybe achieve some positive changes in their lives, but also to hear your opinions.
What do you think about self-discipline? Do you have any other recipes to help with becoming more resolved and "stable"?