Half way done with My Thirty Day Challenge and it's turning out to be more of a philosophical journey than a physical transformation.

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So, you may have, or probably didn't, notice my absence from posting this week. Sometimes life throws you hardforks.. and a plateful of issues to digest. On Tuesday of last week my father-in-law collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. He is a type 2 diabetic and his energy often wavers, but this was a bit scarier than were used to.

To be honest, he hasn't been well for awhile. He is getting older and has to rely on a walker and an oxygen tank that we have set up in the house for him to get around. At times he seems to do very well, strong, invigorated even.. laughing and playing with his grandchildren. But there are other times that the extent of his feebleness shows through. He has long coughing spats and has to be monitored lest his lungs get flooded.

So, it was with a wave of panic that we rushed upstairs to check on him Tuesday night after hearing a loud crashing sound from his room. He was trying to make it to the toilet and got lightheaded and fainted. He was unresponsive but breathing faintly. The paramedics were called and he was rushed to the hospital.

We spend most of that night worried and waiting. The government hospitals in Thailand are known for being under-staffed and over-crowded. Thus the chances of seeing a doctor and getting some clearcut information from a medical professional was slim to none that night. We tried to get some sleep on the cold hard hospital waiting room floor, but it wasn't much.

We did hear from a doctor on Wednesday, dad was weak but in stable condition. They were going to keep him in the hospital ward on an IV drip to monitor his blood sugar until it return to a safe enough level that they deemed fit. Over the next three days, my wife and I took turns slipping home for a shower, to pick up some supplies, and to send/pick up the boys from school. I took some emergency leave from work so that I could shoulder more of the domestic responsibilities and be available around the clock for emotional support too.

This challenge, steemit, and life in general took a back seat this week. On Friday, we brought my father-in-law home, and he seems to be doing fine. He's pretty much back to his usual routine, but as for my wife and I, we are still a bit shaken. I've been shoring up the energy to get back into the meaningless grind, but I can't help but be plagued with existential musings in the wake of such a close proximity to a near death experience.

What are the things that truly matter in Life? Is it a dedicated focus on disciplined health to make sure we remain as vigilant and virile as long as physically possible? Should we double down on work to amass a wealth that we may use to enjoy a more comfortable existence in the autumns of our lives? Perhaps these efforts should take second fiddle to seeking out meaningful social and familial interactions. Creating and sharing unique experiences with loved ones does seem to have the best ROI for your time. Still, many people spend their lives chasing some or all of these things and still find them elusive.

For me, I've had some time to reflect on these circular questions and am no closer than finding any answers than before my search began. I DO know that life.. time & energy.. is a finite resource, and that makes it valuable. We should not waste time or energy worrying over the past that cannot be changed.. we can only learn from it and strive to improve for the future. We should not expect perfection.. but likewise not languish in hopelessness.. stagnating as our lives slip away. Things can, and often do, end at without a moments notice. The most we can hope for is to live without regret.. Enjoy every moment as if it were your last.. I know these are all cliche'.. but I think it is important to shake ourselves from the daily rat-race from time to time in order to evaluate what really matters most to us.

I think that answer is unique to each individual.. you can be given a mirror, but its up to you to look.

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See you tomorrow.. maybe? 😉