In the beginning, I’d want to spend time with friends and colleagues because I didn’t want to feel left out. The older I got the more I realised that it’s not about feeling inclusive, it’s about how I give my energy away or how I spend my energy. To be honest, it felt tiring after a while - those late nights, drinking and eating more than I should.
The ones whom I no longer keep in close contact with or as often as I did were the ones I felt drained me with their dramas and gossip. And when I see them from time to time, it feels like they’re still swimming in the same pool of drama (OMG, get over it and go swim in the ocean already). Sometimes, it can be quite tiring for me to listen. Plus, I had to constantly change topic. Basically I spent my time changing topics so they wouldn’t spiral down and in the process bring me with them.
Here’s a thought:
If you likened your energy to money, would you spend it on things that are trivial and don’t serve you a purpose? I’m sure your answer would be a straight-up NO. You’d probably save it for something great and fulfilling!
But I must say that there are a handful of friends who genuinely want to know how I’ve been. No drama, no gossip, no wasting time and energy topics. Just more of supporting each other, giving each other words of encouragement or advice to broaden each other’s perspectives in whatever life’s challenges we’re facing. I love those kind of conversations. They bring both parties mutual nourishment. So much win-win in one coffee session!
Do you want to leave feeling inspired after your coffee meet up or feel more frustrated and riled up because you’ve just gossiped about a person? This has to work both ways. You can’t unload your shit onto the other person, then this will just be a win-lose situation.
Well, you decide the next time you call your friend(s) out for coffee. How would you want to spend your energy and how would you want to feel after?
"If it’s not good for you, don’t pass it on."
If the quote works for diseases, it should also work for the things you say, the energy you give and the being that you are.
My previous note-worthy articles:
- On Starting Again
- The Power of the Human Spirit
- Transformation vs Change
- 5 Minutes of Awareness Before You Sleep
