Sounds like you've made some bad experiences. Sorry for that!

if you're a female surfer, that's a good deal.

Lucky me! I'm a surfer girl not living in the US and fully agree on your first two sentences :-) I could live with the person I love forever and ever without any paperwork. True story! Maybe it'll be like this, who knows.
However, I like the idea of calling HIM my husband and sharing the same family name. I like the idea of being married. In a world where you hardly find people that commit themselves to anything, it's the last romantic dream I have. Your argument about money can't change that...:-)
I think everybody has to find their path. There is no wrong or right about relationships...