From my mum's passing, alot was learned. The word "Dignity" has newer, weightier meaning!
Really, i would have preferred her to keep her shine even as she loses life. But she kept suffering even into death, it was becoming brutal.
I got numb! I watched, "no ropes", yet i was so tied and even during times, when she would upon her unconscious eyes from too much agony to look and me and say "Terry help!", i just watched; "my very eyes left her gaze".
I was so tied.
Her Lifeless Body Comforted Me
Maria Wilma Ajayi Aranez is my sweetest female heart on Mama Earth.
After her passing, her lifeless body still had love in it, reserved for my healing..........
I sat there at her bed observing her body still; perhaps, i can find a miraculous pulse.
She still had some electricity in her, for her body still hopped in tiny pulse-like beats and some hope lingered for me.
Then, it all paused.
I held her close; "Nothing else mattered". Her flaws forgiven, for even her blood stains had her aroma in it.
Valuable.
I held her cold crooked fingers and these were special. I fondled her legs. I asked her forgiveness and i got it, for i felt it.
She was loving me still!!!
"This post will comfort me till forever and it will comfort a ton of people who lose dignity for dignities will be restored. Forgiveness will hold sway!"
We Will Bury Her
Dear steemian family, if you will like to join in; join in!
We will bury her on Tuesday morning (November 28, 2017) here in Metro Manila area in the Philippines. We are currently waited at Muntinlupa City, "Divine Mercy Viewing Chapel", until the day of the Burial.
If you are visiting, i am there and there are always people there. You can visit today, until tomorrow 8 or 9 am, for she will be buried at 10 am Tuesday Morning (November 28, 2017)
Click here for directions
She will be buried in Binan, Laguna (Eternal Gardens Memorial Homes), on the same plot as her Mum and Dad.
"Every steemian is invited!"
Click here for directions.
Contact me on Facebook or discord for details!
My Tiny Current Status
I am much better now as i am diverting this loss into doing new measures of loving, towards humanity.
We can do good with the lessons from lost lives and give others a better chance at fighting, in fights involving "clinging on to life".
I will be trying to work with a Medical doctor who i found (though late), who learnt alternative treatment for Leukemia under a scientist in Ecuador; to make lives easier for people with Leukemia patients etc in the future even on a limited budget.
Seriously, i had accepted that he tried some of this remedy on my mum, once it was told to me by the conventional doctors, that we have only hours left to wait.
I Was Going To Try One Last Attempt
I was going to remove her from the ICU to restore her back into a regular ward, with hopes that this doctor (who i met at the last minute) could try out alternative medicine in a last resort to help my mum. I understood the concept behind is mode of treatment and possible risk and i had consented to some form of "clinical trial" so to speak, at least, than just counting the minutes.
A New ward was setup after so much delay, in preparation for my mum's transfer and we headed to this new room to wait.
Then, i went into the bathroom of this new ward, to have a quick bath to prepare for another round of fight but 2 minutes into this, i was called upon and told in a hurry, that an emergency had ensued and i had to run back downstairs into the ICU, to watch 30 minutes of several nurses pumping on my mum's chest to resuscitate her. I was numb in this 30 minutes.
They hadn't started the transfer, when my mum, started giving up.... They keep the door locked, so i never had the entire picture.
Overall, i never liked the vibe in the ICU. I did feel afterall, that the main reason they had insisted, on moving her to the ICU, was to play with her and extort much more money. In reality, afterall, i didn't see any difference between the ICU and a regular room (the regular room did have all the same machines as was in the ICU), the difference being that they could lock the door of the ICU and we couldn't monitor proceedings except at times, that the doctors called us in, to sign documents or so.
In Truth
Alot of the systems to medicine and the protocols in developing nations especially, can be improved on, to give more fighting chance or at least maintain as much dignity for humans, in the case of a person losing life.
We want to fight as full humans, no longer as half humans.
We Will Help
For those who still feel that i have to explain to them, why i didn't decline payment, when posting about my mum's case, if this is my crime, use it to learn "forgiveness".
Here Is A Tiny Un-owed explanation:
For one, my mum always worried about money. Even as she was nearing her end, she didn't care much about the quality of treatment she received, when in reality, she deserved the entire best. She always worried instead, more about us (kids) and where we were getting money to spend on her.
We spent so much effort trying to calm this worry, (telling her that, "money" wasn't the issue but understanding that she deserves all the finer things of life and moreso, now that she is ill) while she expended so much effort "worry" about how much treatment costs.
"These worries" is one of the largest deterrents to getting the best options when it comes to the treatment. Once "worries about money" becomes the first prominent worry", i tell you; even your decision-making with regards to treatment will start all flawed.
You would fight like a "half human".
This must adjust, thus, i wasn't going to decline payment, for i look at the fight ahead, on behalf of many humans who are wailing. We will restore a lot of dignity to humans by means of the things we do now and give many the ability to fight (to hold on to life) like "complete humans".
Money is nothing. Steem is; so i gather the tokens for good use on behalf of humanity.
When you look at me to decide to judge me, never look at now; look at the future and generations yet unborn and if you still want to pick on my flaws, then learn forgiveness, for i will forgive you a hundred times.
In the past months, since my mum's illness start, pursuit of money meant nothing. "Pursuit of money has never had place in dictionary". Why pursue money, when you have everything it takes for money to look for you? Why haste, when you vision is spanless and staunch?; when you create a vision that's loveable and not looking to compete or contest?
I have never pursued money!
According to my style, "money has got no choice but to pursue me". I am proven in that regard and unshaken, so forget me in your analysis because even when you think i will react with "bad", i will disappoint you with "good".
Too, it was necessary to show, the state of beauty of the steemit community and how it is posed to shine in good deeds.
Every steemian has asked to help! Several steemians, have wanted to post on my behalf since the first news they heard of my mum's ailment but i have said no to them because i wanted to push things, like i normally do; this time is say yes, so forgive!
The once developing nations, that are apparently poor financially to the rest of the world outside steemit, are truly "rich" on steemit, for they give and want to give, like crazy!
This above is something i am out to teach, for the sake of steemit growth, so if you want to be a police in this regard, enter my mind please and dissect it, to complete your job.
I Learned A Lot From The Passing Of My Mum
The above was no rant; it was me, educating!
"There is still a ton, that the world doesn't know; that the books haven't covered because the elites of the world; are novice to a ton of things that the illiterates know".
I am an illiterate and in all i do, i speak of these things and by means of steemit, dent these things, even into the "books" of the world. We will serve the search engines, till the world has no choice but the reference the new, fresh beauty and knowledge that steemit creates.
My Mum Lives Still
Oh she does!
Dedicating My Entire Steem/Steemit Journey To My Mum
I do need strength
Dedicating My Entire Steem/Steemit Journey To My Mum
If you want to support an extra witness and you support mine "steemgigs", it will be really helpful, especially in terms of giving me the direly needed extra drive & strength. Overall, there is no doubt, that i have been here on steemit, proven, solid and i will keep on being here! Steemit is in my books and my heart has a soft spot for it and this will keep on because upon it, i kept my legacies and even my sad stories and most utmostly, i get to have awesome YOU.
For humans and steemians, i am all in, for you all
To vote my witness, simply visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" into the first search box for witnesses or simply click Here to do it on one click!
If you want me to make witness voting decisions on your behalf, simply visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box for proxy.
For the tech people on steem, like developers etc you can certainly now use this full RPC 256GB public node:
wss://steemd.steemgigs.org
Let's Go!!!
Offer a service under hashtag "steemgigs". Attempt out-of-the-boxness on #untalented.
"Everyone has something to offer!"
