I was not prepared for him.
He appeared from the corner of the museum. Lustrous black coat, big pointy ears, and a slow-paced walk. He stopped and stared at the world around him that was moving too fast for his likening. I imagined he was overwhelmed by the smell, the crisp cold smell of that September morning.
At one point, He noticed me.
I guess he first noticed the donut, but if you were to really notice me, you'd realize that I was not trying to make a pose nor that I was craving for attention. In reality, I was suffering from an emotional hangover that had been going on for months.
You see, I’ve been sitting on this bench for a while. Legs crossed with a sticky donut in my hand and Anathema blasting in my ears from my old Mp3.
It was too early for my likening. I had smeared eyeliner on my left eye from last night and was wearing a black leather jacket that was too big for my body.
My hands were cold, my nail polish cracked and my heart was heavy. I was too nauseated to eat and too low-spirited to be bothered.
One of the worst feelings in the world is to know you have been used and abused. To doubt your own sanity and live in a state of constant worry and fear for days, months. I guess I was entitled to my bitterness and anger. You get to be unhappy.
There was no "How to deal with unexpected deaths in the span of a few months" guide. Neither there was a guide on how to deal with all of this that was happening. I felt like I was in a bad Jerry Springer episode and I was waiting for it to end.
"Finally it's a wrap!" It was all a lie!"
Suffice to say that all that was happening was chewing out all the good parts of me.
He came and sat in front of me. His face was hilarious. Big round brown eyes with a small white spot just right under his right eye. He had a snot bubble coming out of his nostril and his overall appearance was just messed up. But hey, who was I to judge? I wasn't looking so good, to begin with.
In my head we had this dialogue:
“Nice to make your acquaintance. Do you want this donut?"
"Yes, please! I know sugar is not good for me but if it's not too much to ask but do you have some bread in your handbag?"
"I am afraid not, but I can go buy some if you want."
"Pardon me lady, but I must confess, you look like shit"
"I know Dog, I know..."
But in reality, he stood there in front of me, our eyes locked. And while I was still having that ridiculous dialogue in my head, he put his left paw on my hand and silenced my mind and all my fears.
You see, that dog held his paw in my hand for a few seconds and then ran away before I could say something. And he managed something that seemed impossible at that moment. To make me smile and laugh like a deranged girl in that cold September morning.
"Everything is going to be alright, lady!"
Picture from Unsplash