I actually had tears reading this!! I am grown and I still feel the same about my father..he died when I was 25...it feels like yesterday & it also feels like forever ago..the pain never goes away..time helps but all it does is put time between then and now...I still have my mom and cannot imagine how life would ve without her..I cherish her deeply! I do not get to see her as much as I would like but I know how fortunate I am to have her! I feel so bad for you...it was so innocent of you-as an 8 yr old wishing your mothet home..broke my heart! Seems you have a beautiful heart..thank you for for posting something so close to your heart!