So Much to Say
So Much to Censor
It is not easy to live in the world of illusions where everyone is so bought up to their abstract reality that they can't even see what is right front of them. Just like every single one of you, I am an actor, and like some of you I have studied it. I guess it was my first love as far as arts go, but it is not my only love. I like all forms, though I really enjoy the ones from the heart and consciousness, the ones that has nothing to do with serfdom.
So Much to Say
So Much to Censor
I really liked the idea of Bitcoin when I heard about it the first time. It was almost like an answer to my prayers, (I don't pray, I envision) I wanted to see a currency with no military behind it for soooo long. And it was finally here!! I didn't get into it, I didn't seek to have some, I was just happy that finally there was such a currency. Of course this was years ago.
I just got into Altcoin market 10 days ago. It is fun, there is a lot to learn. Everyone is in it to make some money.
I have never cared about money. I am trying to do so, but my heart will never allow me. A friend of mine warned me the other day "You can't get emotionally attached to an altcoin!!". He is in it for the money. I got into it, because I am supposed to change!! and I am supposed to care about money!! I am not supposed to sell myself short EVER!!!
I am totally in agreement with not selling myself short. But cmon!! I am an artist. If I feel someone is going to understand me just a little bit, if I feel like I will make a difference and for a second show the glimpse of what we really are to someone.... I will use it. I don't give a shit about money!!! If I have a chance to be understood... Here it is!!! take it!!!
I am emotionally attached to xvg. Because it is working on privacy in the world of surveillance, because it is open source, and because some people call it people's coin for a good reason.
Shady people suck when you are trying to be benevolent.
(my total worth in the altcoin market=$140)
So Much to Say
So Much to Censor
I studied film-making in Florida. It was a "very special program" where only 30 people a year were chosen from many applicants. It was an hands on experience with a lot of opportunity to get special attention from the faculty. I applied, and in the mean time waiting for the application to go thru, I took couple of generic classes I would have to take. One of them was being taught by a professor that was in the judicial faculty that went through the applications. The class I took with him had over 300 students. After a month or so, he had recognized my name from the essays we were writing for him, and he pulled me aside, and told me that I was definitely going to get into the "program" he said the faculty was extremely impressed with me, I was one of the first choices, and he personally thought that if anyone from that program was going to have any kind of future, that person was me. He loved my thoughts, and my views.
Couple of weeks past, and I got a letter from the school. It was regrettably informing me that I was not chosen for the special program, but still had a chance to get in, if some of the students who applied decided to not get into the program. I was dumbfounded. After my next class with the mentioned professor, I asked him what happened. He said he was shocked as well, and it was pure politics. He passed away before I graduated from that "special program", I never got to take any of his classes again. He was a very humble guy, loved by all his students. Rest in Peace Tom!!
I applied to the program as an artist. I thought there would be other artists I could bounce with, be creative and produce some world changing light beams on a screen. My classmates were just bunch of pretentious idiots who wanted to be the next Michael Bay. Also the United States was about to declare an unjust war on Iraq. Anything against Bush was considered unpatriotic. I was a guy from Turkey :O and even though I really tried to shut my mouth due to the patriot act, the truth would oooze from my pores. I became isolated pretty fast.
Do I really have to explain that some of the "chosen ones" didn't show up, and I got into the program?
I like writing little bit like a riddle. I don't like riddles!! but I don't like to spell eeeevery fucking thing out for you either.
Figure it out!!!
So Much to Say
So Much to Censor
My best writings come out after I argue with people about politics, religion, and sex. I love arguing. NO, NO, I love discussing :D
I have been bottling up a lot of thoughts since 9/11/2001. A lot of people who know me would say "really??" Of course when I find people who are little bit close to my wavelength I start vomiting my thoughts on them. Actually I am very good at one one communication, because then I can get into their wavelength, and then bring them to mine. It is so gentle that way. People get pretentious extremely fast when among others. All the defenses goes up, all the subconscious programming kicks in.
Two things I hear people say to me in such conversations; "I feel like I can be myself when I am around you" and "you are very real"
So Much to Say, Not enough Time!!!
Actually I do have time. But I don't want to take yours. I don't believe people's attention can go so far if I write too long. I will write again... I also do want to get some feedback before I babble out more thoughts. I have to know, I've got some kind of audience. :D
Peace and love!!!
Tan
PS: Photos will always be by me unless I quote someone else! :P
Marina Del Rey, October 2016
I also have to get used to asking for something... I ve been used so much, I don't wanna feel being used ever.
My xvg wallet D87dZNbub5uowtyntQ2ff5gnBvhZBj9PrB
Peace again!!