I’ve had a few days recently where I’ve had an unexplained fuzzy, vertigo feeling unbalanced sensation. Today, i’m good to far, I woke up checked the crypto charts, email and the usuals and went and emptied the bins and did the pots — I’ve now just made omelettes for the both of us and am sitting down with my first coffee of the day.
I want to be present today as much as possible. I don’t want another Groundhog Day even thou it’s friday and look here we are on again, while I’ve made ‘some’ moves this week it’s probably 30% of the me that I expect of myself to really feel like I’m here, existing and living — not stepping through the motions but actively parkouring the fucker.
We watched a documentary on minimalism last night and while I know I need to be less acquiring and more mobile somehow over the last year I’ve seemed to acquire a bunch more stuff, stuff that is not holding me down or back but it’s certainly there to concern me.
(Sips first coffee of the day)
I’ve got to have a tidy down, I’ve got to go in on this stuff, I’m gonna see if I can both sell it and give it away before just straight up throwing it away, I need to get on top of my belongings because they are controlling me, it’s not like I have a lot of stuff but i don’t have my preparedness pack on the level like I did before — I need to do that for piece of mind.
i did about 50% of the tasks I expected to do yesterday and while it left a bit of a nagging feeling I was kind to myself that I can only do what I can do — I listened to what dayle said about cutting out news and such like and she is right, I need to focus on my situation too.
It some regards money wise this is a rough month, even thou residuals is good it could be 4x better, I’d like to be in a situation where taking a week out to focus on a massive throw away tidy down and learning new software, going out daily to capture cinema graphs is not going to make me thing I’ve dropped the ball elsewhere — it’s a fine balancing act when you freelance.
(Feeling coffee taking hold)
I’ve got the door cranked today with the curtain cover across letting in some nice fresh air, it actually sounds like the sea, the winds are up and we are told that we are to have yet another beast from the east in the middle of next week.
I don’t care what side of the eco fence you are on, the weather systems are fck’d and something must be to blame — it’s all feels very off-kilter if you know what I mean? We just gotta buy a bigger boat and learn some spear fishing between the plastic right? :)
If we just look at the last six months together we have managed to turn a very stressed out aging ship around and that’s down to being focused on writing on steemit, adding videos, improving them to the eco system and my own courses and now I can see where the effort needs to be focused.
Some days I can see this big picture swirling around and how it all fits together like some kind of crazy rainman situation and where we fit into that, it’s always moving, ebbing and flowing and the skill is adaptation to the circumstances right, what’s next and where we fit into that matrix.
I’m thankful for my mental health clarity today, that I’m afforded another day on planet earth, that I get to see my wonderful daughter for another day, that I can feel the love through hugs, smiles and her own eyes, to check in and see what she needs gives me what I need 1000x back.
I’m thankful for dayle who came into my life through an internet interconnect, pulled together like digital media magnets from the other side of the world both in drastically different situations but with a unison of being there for each other at some point in the age of the universe.
When nature and a tree was our compassion beamed out through the Mycelium all the way to my van here in middle earth England. I’m super thankful for the universe and the pathways it has allowed me so far to transcend down, I can’t be mad about my life even if at times it feels like some tainted simulation gone wrong.
Time to get into some work eh? - how you feeling today, I’d love to hear from you in the comments if you are out there. What’s the big stuff your not sweating but it’s in the background right now? Happy to shoot the shit over it if you wanna open that stuff up.
Lots of Love, Compassion & Hugs
T E A M H U M B L E x