I wanted to know why people lose their control, so I started to read until I got the specific reason and I want to share that with you.
For a better understanding let us imagine that we are a group of friends which are hiking in a forest and suddenly appear a bear. What reaction do I have? What can I do in this situation? I can flight (the most probably), I can get freeze or I can fight with the bear.
The three reaction of losing control are: freeze, fight and flight.
Psychologically, losing control is the same thing with losing rationality, that is the reason that after you have got a fight your mind comes a lot of ideas.
We have a reptilian brain and when we feel in danger or when we are verbally threatened or abused, automatically we have only three option: fight, freeze or flight.
I want you to make another imagination exercise. Let imagine a waterfall which flowing smoothly, very smoothly. A man comes and throw stones to the waterfall. He see that waterfall doesn’t have any reaction, he come with a gun and start to shoot the waterfall. Again no reaction, the waterfall continue to flow as usually.
You are the waterfall and you are in a dispute and if you can use your brain you will always win.
You shouldn't accept to lose your control.
Since I discovered those automatic reactions, and how it works my brain I haven't lost the control again.I am thinking that I am a waterfall and nothing bad is going to happen to me.