Ever since I was a little girl, obsessed with fairies, butterfly kisses, mystical creatures and pretty princesses (because you know, I’m daddy’s little princess); mediocrity taught me the greatest life lessons. You see, in the world that we live in, it was vital that I believed that true love would come to me on a white horse dressed in shining armour, having killed off the vicious dragon and climbed up the tallest tower to save me from a life time of loneliness.
I was rather disappointed to find that fairies, wizards and unicorns actually did not exist; however, surprisingly less disappointing, the idea of true love - which if I may remind you was drilled into my head from the day I could walk, WAS FALSE.
So what exactly was I to believe? My whole life waiting, not realising that yes true love may come to a girl on a white horse and in shining armour, BUT…. It happened to be that my love wasn’t as extravagant as the movies. This didn’t mean that it was any less magical.
What have I learnt? Hmm , I learnt that I should probably not believe my parents when they tell me that the tooth fairy will come fetch my tooth when I am asleep, I should probably also not trust that Disney princess movies is a depiction of what my life will be like … oh yeah I should re evaluate my definition of true love.
It bothers me that we live in a world where young girls have been indoctrinated by the idea that they will fall in love at first sight. And that this man will be tall, dark, blue eyed, brunette and completely chiselled. If it sounds like I have just described a ken doll, it is because I HAVE. We fail to realise that we allow our daughters, little sisters and even ourselves to view beauty in such a propagated manner. It is so strange how we always say that we want a REAL MAN, but at the same time we describe the man of our dreams to be a mannequin. We are so shallow, when it comes to appearance; that we even forget the most important thing in a woman’s life – R O M A N C E!
We live in an era where almost every single day we experience technological advancements, social revolution and decolonization of knowledge. Woman have come so far from when we were nothing more than housewives, whose sole purpose was to cook, clean, satisfy and look after. We have become liberated! It is because of those strong independent women in our past that we are able to vote, get an education, stand up for ourselves, and make our own money and so much more. But I feel like we have forgotten something along the way. When we left our oppression, we have forgotten to leave behind the stupid concept of what a perfect man should be.
So I would like to put forward a very interesting question? Why not the unusual prince?
On several occasions I heard my friends complain to me that there are no good guys left out there. Okay I think it is about time that us women, start giving the guys a little more credit. So let me make it easy for those of you who question where all the good guys are ... I will tell you... THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! And then there is the second question – “then why can’t I find him.” Again another simple answer – it is because you glance straight passed him every single time you looking for that ‘sexy bad boy.’
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we remain so shallow, when we (repeatedly) get hurt, because we choose to be with the same type of guy over and over again? Don’t get me wrong , I’m not implying that all so called good looking guys are not any good, I am however implying that maybe we should perhaps learn from our mistakes and look for something new.
Success, intelligence, self worth, respect, loyalty, chivalry and kindness should be things we look for in a guy. Not what colour are his eyes, and how long is his hair. When a guy attains good qualities, and is beautiful inside, if you give him the time of day, you will realise that it will feel almost impossible to find him unattractive. Muscles and freakishly white teeth can satisfy your hormones yes, but what about long conversations that stimulate your mind, midnight strolls and a bed filled with roses and what about motivation, guidance and complete contentment? Wouldn’t this be more appealing that hanging on the arm of a dim-witted idiot?
If you are still confused about which qualities do it for you, I shall share with you what I believe is by far the best piece of advice I have ever been given.
“Have guy friends, actually have a lot. And pick out the qualities that appeal to you in each one of them. And then use this to guide you in finding the guy who possesses all these qualities. And when you have you will know that he is the one for you.”
Everyone will find their perfect guy. Just make sure that your perfect guy isn’t the guys that society has told you are perfect. He is the guy that gives you butterflies every time you think of him. And the one that you wake up thinking of. He is the one that treats you like the queen, and feels that there is no effort in giving you joy. He is the one that will ask if he could kiss you, and when he does, you will know what true loves kiss really is.
Just a side note, true loves kiss does not wake you up from an eternal sleep. It sends you drifting into an infinite dream. Your own personal fairytale!
NEVER settle for anything less that you deserve. But also don’t deny the best the opportunity because you are holding on to that which is not the best. Don’t let him slip away. He may be perfect, but don’t expect him to be patient.
So here I am telling you that as woman we should start to teach the young girls around us that we live in reality. Some may think that I am harsh and fairytales give little girls hope and joy. I don’t deny that not one bit. But I would like to say that what I have said here does not only extend to the men we choose. It is about how we view ourselves too. Because remember, fairytales are not just the stories we read at night. It’s the model on a billboard with big lips, or in a magazine with a perfect nose. This is just a way of telling you that we still live in a highly propagated society, and that it is this society which dictates how we view each aspect of life, so that we fall into its system of mediocrity.
Hmm, so maybe we write our own fairytales, and even though they seem so farfetched, absolutely absurd and lack one of those cliché love songs, it can turn out just alright. Well it did for me at least.
