HEY THERE.
Well, now you're gunna know my gender. Dicks. I could never hold a secret for very long. As I'm approaching the season one finale of my wonderfully charming yet slightly telling- of-the-life-I-lead watch of Battlestar Galactica I find myself thinking back on some of the moments that make us who we are.
The moments that define us. The moments that make the large interplanetary space beings who's nostrils we live inside of look down at our microscopic life and say "that one's gunna be a playful one." The moments that begin a direct course of action in our lives and eventually leads to our graceful walk off into the sunset followed by credits?
This is not one of my better moments.
Oh, and I've had worse.
But I did find myself thinking about this one, and I had some good weed sitting here...so I figured I'd write away.
In my acting class in college this was this one guy that never really "clicked" with the material in class. He was off (I guess that's the best word for what I'm trying to describe) he always seemed to hang by the smaller framed feminine guys. He himself was larger, always wore a baseball cap; wasn't necessarily cute, but there was something alluring about his confidence.
He paid me some attention but I guess I give off this perpetual vibe that my asshole has been sewn shut by really angry ass-elves and if anyone thinks of going near my naked figure they'd eat the person's eyes out and poop in person's ears so needless to say it never really went anywhere.
One day almost a year later I found myself super horny and in the mood to slut it up. Saw he was on Grindr so was I (White, 6 foot, 150lbs, you?) I ended up contacting him because I had a feeling he was one of those stupid guys that was super macho and only wanted to have their dick sucked and top a willing guy. Normally I'm not into any guy like that, but I was twenty recently living on my own in college, and everyone goes through a slut phase of their life so stop giving me judgey eyes and just continue reading the story that you probably thought was going to read like porn anyway.
He doesn't drive (I know kill me, right?) so I have to take my own car twenty minutes and pick him up at his dorm room. Since he lived with another person and we weren't in the mood to be watched, I then had to bring him all the way back twenty minutes to my apartment just so I could maybe fool around in a way I didn't really like to (I was totally sure I was a top by this point).
Turns out I was right, he had total top syndrome. It was fine. I remember his dick was really big and he was very confident. He told me to sit on his lap when we were just talking and always liked to ask me some pretty nasty/dirty questions that made me blush.
I do remember when we were fooling around (this segment is for all you dick pigs out there) he made me get naked and dance for him and give him a lap dance. I also remember he ate ass like a champ and I enjoyed that.
But in the middle of this experience (after I told him he wasn't going to fuck me so he could politely rub himself off on my butt cheeks, kthxbye) he said "CALL ME PAPI!"
I stopped (never been asked this before) kinda thought for a moment and then did as I was told. It was...interesting...and he really enjoyed it.
Fast forward to the drive of shame home, which I had done to myself. I literally needed to drive him home after we had done the dirty. We're not really saying much, and then he says, "So, you're Mexican right?"
I looked back at him and I said, "Nope. I'm White."
He blinked.
I blinked.
He looked out over the dashboard, "Oh. Cool."
The rest of the ride home was silent.