Im apprehensive about moving to another state. Being 3 days away from my family scared me. When I need my parents love, I can only get it through the phone or through thier voices. I can no longer get their hugs or touch.
I'm not sure how to explain my love and bond I have with my parents. You see I feel like I need my parents. I keep reminiscing on the one-on-one moments and closeness I have had with each one and im sad that will not happen in a daily occuence. But then im also afraid to grow up. This is serious now and I have to make it work. There is no fall back or coming home. It's only forward from here. I suppose I'm afraid I won't like the outcome, the future. The fear of not getting married or not being able to commit in a relationship. Im afraid to fail. Compleatly saturated with blindness. Blindness of the universe, of who I am today, of who I'll be with and when I'll meet that person, if I meet that person. I have so many fears..of my self...of my life., of who I'm suppose to be. I'm just suppose to find myself by myself in another state? Find What? How do I know what I'm even suppose to be looking for? This is why life is hard. I ..no...My fears make it hard.