Just to be clear, this post isn’t addressed at the mean people who take every opportunity to point out that I’m short. Because for some reason, they think that being taller than me is some form of superiority. There’s a special place for those kinds of people – and it’s sure as hell not here in this post.
Nope, this is for the nice people. The people who sheepishly use every other word they can think of to try and sidestep my lack of height. Because they feel bad for some reason.
So, let me help you out here, these words include:
- “Not so tall” – That’s three words you’re using, when you could just use one.
- “Petite” – Oui oui, French is the language of love. But do we really have to romanticize height?
- “Compact” – What the heck man, I’m not luggage.
- “Fun-size” – I’m also not M&Ms.
- “Peanut” – Butter???
There’s really no need to be creative with what to call short people. Because on the flipside, I don’t see a need to call tall people anything other than “tall”. I mean what could I say: “not so short”, “giraffe-like”, “Gandalf-twin”?
I get that for the most part we’ve been socialized to view short people as disadvantaged. For instance, I remember a study that showed a correlation between peoples’ heights and their salary. Apparently, those who were taller had a higher salary. Uh huh, yup, sure. Perhaps they were more visible in the workplace.
And then there’s the ridiculous use of the word “vertically-challenged”. Let me clear the air on this. There is no actual challenge. I mean sure, sometimes it can be annoying when you’re trying to reach for something that’s really high up on a shelf. But I guess that’s what ladders are for. There is no challenge?!
And if you’re not convinced, being short actually has its perks. For instance:
- I think I use less water when I shower. So that also makes me environmentally-friendly (BONUS).
- I don’t have to eat as much for fuel and sustenance. So, in terms of the world’s food supply, that makes me energy-efficient.
- I can shop at the kids’ section and not pretend like I’m shopping on behalf of my make-believe children.
- I have never, in any situation whatsoever, ever felt the need to DUCK MY HEAD.
- When I’m trying to avoid someone, who’s walking towards my direction, I’m a lot less noticeable. (It also helps that I move like the Asian female version of James Bond).
- And tons of other stuff. Tons!!!
So, it’s okay nice people, you don’t have to feel bad. I still think you’re a nice person, I still believe in your goodness, even if you called me short.
After all, it is what I am.
Thanks for reading. Appreciate it;)