For new parents like me, we tend to put pressure on ourselves because we wanted to be the perfect parent to our children. We also wanted others to see that we are good parents. Some would feel that they need to do the right thing to avoid negative comments on our child.
This, I believe, is the result of social media. More and more people tend to share their daily life or even their children's milestone. As a result, more eyes were on you. You expose yourself and your child, thus, you expose yourself more on unsolicited advice and unnecessary comments. There will be people who would say your child is too thin or big. You'll hear them say dont let your child be addicted to online videos; dont let your baby get used to pacifier; shouldn't you use cloth diaper; you should or should not force him to eat; why do you prefer to work instead of taking care of your kids; why are you not working; why do you breastfeed, why do you use formula milk; dont do this and that..you should have done this not that. There are too many rules and different beliefs in raising a child. Sometimes it gets confusing, sometimes it is depressing.
I also notice there are a lot of articles about parenting, the correct way to do things for your babies. Some are experts, some are only experienced individuals. I use these as a guide but I don't force myself to follow it if I think it is not applicable to us or if I feel I am not capable to do it. Like using cloth diaper, yes. It is a good idea to use it because it has less chemicals and its an environment-friendly product. Washing cloth diaper everyday consumes a lot of our time and we have to change the diaper every pee because a damp diaper will lead to skin rashes. I tried it but honestly I am not a fan. I just.can.not.do.it.
You as a mom, who only wanted whats good for your child after 3 hours of sleep and no bath for days and disgusted with yourself because you smell like rotten milk, you will feel that you have not done enough because other people notices that you are not raising your child correctly. Other people would pinpoint your flaws and inadequancy instead of praising you and value what you have done good for your child.
This pressure would sometimes lead to depression, stress and exhaustion. You only want what's good for your child right? And you know you have been a good mother to your baby. And as long as you know nothing is wrong and you have been taking good care of your child you are happy with it. But sometimes it is not enough for other people especially those who are not in your shoe.
When my husband told me not to be pressured and let go of those comments, as long as I can see my babies are healthy, as long as you know they are growing up as happy individuals, as long as you notice for your child you are the best person in the world...then you are doing a great job. Do not let the noise from outside steal your happiness. Focus on your family and your responsibilities; You as a mother...who went all through these....have done enough. You have done a great job. And for your child...you are a superhero.