The tip of the iceberg:
Most mornings, I was awake at 3:30PM or 4. Monday started out with the cool kids poking fun of my hobble (the way I have to walk now because of the CRPS) when I got to work. I was overwhelmed and embarrassed, so I was shaking. My whole cup of coffee went down my pant leg and onto the ground. I stayed at work for the whole day without a coffee unless I wanted to slurp my own pants. I had customers at work put me on hold so they could put their boss on the line to yell at me too. I had a morning where I had to kill 3 spiders (I don't kill bugs, and am terrified to even kill spiders...but it was me or them that morning.... they had to go). I made an error at work that resulted in me losing $200 on my commission cheque before Christmas. That $200 would have been bigger than my 2 week paychecks have been in years. I severely burned my mouth on coffee after trying to vent to a friend about the weeks I've been having. I spent an hour curled up on the bathroom floor, snot crying my face off this week. I tried to set up an Etsy shop finally Friday night, to make sense of whatever I have been working on for months with a friend and it turned into solo (that alone was defeating enough). Even that wouldn't work due to error and self judgement.
It was a defeating week. I was over tired and emotional. Something had to change.
Saturday morning, I woke up and decided to not let anything stand in my way. I needed to break the groove of funk, but I didn't know what else to do other then tell myself that "It's ok, I got this", like I had all week. So I contacted Etsy and now have my little shop opened up, step 1 in the right direction. I received 2 emails this weekend from new warriors sharing their stories with me and I must say again, I am honored.
I was reminded again that I am on a mission. What I am trying to do is not something most people are wanting to do. It takes a lot of energy, time, brain power and honestly.. a lot of tears. Yet I am continuing to try. If I don't, who will do it for me?
So.
We are nearing December. Which is the time for most families to be celebrating together and enjoying the holiday season. I love this time of year. This year is different though and I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but this is the last December of the decade. We're starting fresh again after this, and I don't know about you: But I am ready for a fresh start.
I have connected with hundreds of warriors across the world and we deserve a change. Each of us have our own struggles and sparkles and we deserve hope. We deserve answers and questions, but mostly we deserve a cure. A cure for the most painful condition known to human kind, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome: CRPS. Now, I know this seems like I am dreaming big, BUT WHY NOT?
I'm tired of this. I know that others are too. So how can we get the attention of medical researchers and the media? How can we get everyone to know what CRPS is? Not for popularity purposes, but for medical purposes. Most Doctors and nurses don't know what CRPS is and that is just WRONG.
So, I spent months trying to turn something small into something huge with someone else. It didn't work out. I salvaged what I could from it and created my Etsy shop to help reduce waste in our landfill. I still have pillows, bow bands, coasters and bowls to update with, but one step at a time. Now I can focus on the bigger picture. Conquer CRPS.
I'm asking other #Spoonies out there to join me for the last few days of my 365 day blogging challenge-Spoonie Edition. I think I will start it in the New Year, so everyone has time to enjoy their holiday season. We will work together to raise awareness, one small step at a time. More details on that coming soon. Also, I'm looking for pictures taken by CRPS Warriors or by anyone who Supports a CRPS Warrior (friends, family, etc). I need scenic photographs that I can put a positive quote on and share with the world for a CRPS Collaboration project under @ConquerCRPS on Instagram. Email conquercrps@gmail.com with your picture and username so I can tag you ❤️ Lastly, the sign will be presented this week ❤️
Small but mighty steps in the right direction for all of us, because we deserve it ❤️
Make today a good day with positive thinking and be kind to your minds everyone.
Positive thoughts,
-Kristen Sparkle
Day 239/365
Entry 110/183
@ConquerCRPS on Instagram and Gmail ❤️❤️
The beginning of my Upcycled Shop:
https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/SewEarthyCreations
If you want to make extra money at home like I do:
https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays
If you want to help me on my journey:
paypal.me/sewearthycreations