"Pursuing your passion", the goal of many, still a very tough one if you don't know in the first place what is that 'calling' for you, what does it mean, how does it look like. And it could turn even more difficult when looking around and noticing that there is a bunch of people out there who seem to have it all clear and figured out almost by nature.
This was also my own case.
I used to get upset not so long ago when I couldn't define what my passion was. There were a bunch of things I enjoyed doing but I couldn't choose one, neither imagine the way of implementing them in the real world in case I'd pick one. I feared the most choosing one and regret it after and ultimately and even worst, that none of them was my true calling.
But someday something inside of me, somehow, came up with the following question that changed it all:
What if the journey of finding out what my passion is is part of that calling?
This question unlocked my paralysis -- I was only thinking and feeling anxious until then -- and instead got me exploring my possibilities.
I stopped being angry and entered a self-discovery journey. 'Whatever we put our attention on in life grows', and because my attention was focused on learning how to decode that mystery that was to myself my own calling, I started finding articles, books and people who were also in the same journey.
Few things I have learned along the journey to my calling:
1. Finding your calling has more to do with understanding who you are than with what you like
You like doing certain things more than others because of who you are. Another person might find boring what you like doing because you are two different people that were born with different sets of likes and dislikes. Of course, we have learned that we like new things while we live but there are things that are innate to us. Why do you like chocolate more than vanilla? That's a mystery! And even the new things you learn you like later in life, why do you like it and another person that experienced the same thing together with you doesn't. It's because of who you are in essence.
The more you understand who you are at your core, you will understand why you enjoy doing particular things the most. I like writing, photography, video blogging, but what I realized is that those things sum up my authentic me, that innate communicator that wants to bring a message and inspire others despite the area. Fitness, travel, vegan food, sharing what I learned.
Maybe you've been using different tools to express your most sincere self throughout your life, write those things down, find your own clues, do it often. Make it a priority to get to know yourself better, which takes me to point 2.
2. Your childhood is the gateway
You're calling equals who you are in essence and that you've been your whole life but it's just covered by your adulthood, by the things that you are supposed to do in order to survive, to be accepted, to fit in. When you go back to your childhood and examine the things you used to like, what you used to tell your parents you wanted to be, the way you used to think, to day-dream, to talk, who you were at primary school, what you used to do while playing with your siblings or friends in the backyard, you will start getting clues of who you are at your core.
You're still the same person, just covered up by what life taught you you had to do and be in order to survive. You're now aware of that. Write more and more things down. When feeling lost go back to your notes and see what you wrote on step one and step two, but don't forget to move to step three:
3. Play again
Give yourself permission to explore the things you used to like when you were younger and you have left behind. Use your free time, use your spare time. Use your weekends, find friends to share that with. Get to play again. Experiment more and more and after that more. And don't do it only because you're trying to reach the goal of finding out your calling, do it because you want to get in touch with joy and excitement.
The more you play, the more you do little things that make you feel alive and aligned with your deepest self, your ideas will start to blossom, you're mind will have space for new ways of thinking, you would have moved from your comfort zone. If you want different results, do things you've never done.
4. You might have more than one passion and that's okay
I used to believe that there was a problem with me because I couldn't choose between writing essays or scripts, photography, blogging, writing a book, making a photo exposition, loving exercise and vegan food, coaching people... I felt honestly terrible. Same things that today I see as an asset was my disadvantage. But it wasn't until I stopped hearing that negative voice within and I let myself explore and do what feels right, that I started to understand that they were just different expressions of who I am and that's why I do them. There is a beautiful TED talk that can help you understand your multi-disciplinary nature if you are one of us.
5. Your calling may change
Maybe once you find your calling you will do this every day of your life, but maybe not. So if it changes, what? It's a possibility that it could change because remember, our calling is just a reflexion of who we are to our cores. If it ends up changing, awesome, you will find yourself in a new place and it will only mean that you have evolved so much that you want to go on a new adventure through a different path. Still, that new path will be yours because you can never be out of your own path, otherwise, you wouldn't be in it. That shouldn't be scary nor stop you from that pursue you have started on finding out who you are and therefore that calling now.
What to do after you have it clear? I read this awesome book called The crossroads of must and should (my cover image comes from the book)
This whole process of clarity may take you a while, or not, that shouldn't matter. Not wanting to go through it and instead of expecting it to be clear as it is for other people, will only leave you exhausted and frustrated. That's like trying to avoid life. Embrace instead where your life is at at this moment and make the best out of it.
The journey is the goal and you are already in your destination while you walk that conscious path to yourself.
With love,
Mindi