I've studied and practiced the use of language as a tool for optimizing social interactions for a decade, one of the most powerful things we can all change in our lives is how we frame our requests of people. This technique borrows from hypnotism and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) but you do not have to be a student of these disciplines to get immediate results.
1. Frame your requests of people in the positive. Push the outcome you want vs. create the opposite. Example: "DO NOT spill that milk!" to a 3 year old? Sploosh. Better: "I know you will be careful with that on the couch."
2. The use of double-binds, both positive outcomes. Example: "To sign the contracts, would you want them faxed or is e-signature better for you?"
3. Trance words: Think about the language your counter-part is using, your friend, your boss, your mate...what words do they *sing* as they say them? What words tend to have a deeper emotional connotation to them? Use those same words back.
Example: "Here at Eville Corp. our vision is to partner with vendors that align with how we see the marketplace"
Response: "So you envision a deal with us to be more of a partnership for joint market success?"
Another in a series of my "Rule of 3" posts. I glaze over after 3 things, as do some of you :D
Embedded Commands example called Paying With Paper from Derren Brown on BBC4...its good advice...TAKE IT, TAKE IT.
