Living alone- Challenges and Perks

On January 5th I moved to my new apartment and for the first time I was going to live alone! Was it easy? Let's jump right into it!

Unlike many of the "grown-ups" out there I am a person who doesn't really think her decisions through. I am not the greatest planner ever. I do tend to overthink, but about all the useless things. For example, OMG my throat is lumpy, shit do I have a tumor? I am paranoid like that. When it came to the decision of living alone it took me a second to decide "sure yeah, why the hell not!" Little did I know a storm was awaiting me.

I had never been a sort of an independent person i admit. I grew up being taken care of at all times and even when I moved to Berlin I ended up with people who like to take care of other people. After that I met Hive account@sjennon who always took care of the important things and so this was a fresh as hell experience. My first night in my apartment I cried my eyes out. I was missing my girl like hell and I was terrified out of my gourds thinking how on earth am I supposed to handle any of this.

I spent first week sleeping with all my lights on at all times. Yes I felt like a horrible person for exploiting our limited energy sources like an asshole. I did not know how to manage anything. I was always late to work, I was skipping breakfast. I cried at every little thing, every time I got a bill or a letter I freaked out. I did not know how to order stuff online, how to properly do laundry, I was basically all over the place; and then something happened.

One night I got incredibly sick, I got this unbelievable pain in my stomach. I started freaking out, did not know how to handle it. I thought I was going to die here alone and no one would know. But, enough was enough. I stood infront of my mirror and yelled at myself for a good 10 min and then told myself "who do you think is going to take care of you? Is it really other people's responsibility to keep you alive, to keep you happy? Why do you need to rely on the world for your happiness? As shannon says 'be your own paradise'!" I took my medicine, picked myself up, stood under a hot shower for 20 min, calmed myself down and before I knew the pain was gone. I never looked back.

Slowly, I realized all the perks of living alone:

You can do literally anything you want with the place.
You can play music all night long if you please.
Roam around in your towel if you like.
When you are stressed as hell you do not have to smile, just be grumpy as hell and throw things if you like.
You do not need to clean your dishes right away, you can do the chores at your own pace.
It gives you a sense of independence so strong that nothing stops you.
It makes you fearless as hell (I now sleep with the lights off and nightmares do not scare me anymore.
Loneliness does not seem as scary as it used to, I am happy in myself.
It develops in you a new appreciation for your parents.
You learn to trust yourself and your instincts. You learn that at the end it is all going to be okay.

Well, that's my experience, I'd like to know about yours!