God loves you, and you're going to burn in hell. Sex is the most awful dirty thing - Save it for someone you love.
Replace ‘Lubbock, Texas’ with ‘Barbados’ and this sums up my life almost perfectly.
This small island-country is pretty much the Bible-Belt of the Caribbean. And if life in Lubbock Texas seems contradictory and confusing, life here is equally as paradoxical.
Behind the facade of dread-locks, sandy beaches and sunburnt tourists - the Caribbean is a strange blend of extremely conservative Christian culture and fairly liberal behavior.
Similar to the USA, the majority of Caribbean people identify themselves as Christian (around 70-75%).
However, while Christianity may be the predominant religion, many African religious undertones remain. Around 80% of Haitians, for example, profess to be Catholics, while half of them also practice Vodou. Jamaica, the icon of 'Caribbean' for many Americans, has held the Guinness World Record for the most churches per square mile, despite being the birthplace of Rastafarianism.
For Barbados, however, the situation is somewhat different.
Frequently described as 'Little England', Barbados has a distinctly less African culture and Christianity. Unlike all the other Caribbean islands, Barbados remained under English rule throughout it's colonization until it's independence 50 years ago. As such it retained a very British flare; every bajan knows how to play Cricket, every hot beverage is called 'Tea', and there is even a Trafalgar square (now renamed), complete with a statue of Lord Nelson that was erected 27 years BEFORE its better known British namesake.
St. James Parish Church, originally established c.1629, current structure built in 1874. Photo by by Kent Kanouse
The Church of England has been well at home here.
Moreso, in fact, than it is in modern-day England.. With over 95% of the population identifying themselves as Christian, Barbados is frequently self-described as a ‘Christian Nation’.
And in true 'bible-belt' fashion - it shows:
There is no talk of separation of Church and State. ‘Prayers’ is an integral part of morning assembly at every public school, and 'religious studies' was a mandatory class during my public education. I distinctly remember the priest that taught us spoke very slowly and always seemed unusually sleepy - some suspected he was filled with the spirit (the liquid variety).
In keeping with our 'Christian' ethics, it's illegal to say a swear word on stage at any performance, or on any radio station. In fact, it's technically illegal to swear in public at all, ever. From time to time, award winning movies such as Black Swan are banned by the censorship board from playing in cinemas.
Throughout my education, I never had a science teacher who taught or believed in evolution. It was always mentioned as a silly idea that some scientists somewhere concocted.
Homosexual acts are not just frowned upon, they are still illegal, subject to a life sentence (if anyone ever decided to enforce the law.)
Yet in this country where there is a church on every corner, across the street, you can usually find a Rum Shop. There is no enforced drinking age and there is no law against drunk driving - "If there were, how would all the politicians get home from the rum shops?", some say.
Crop Over/Kadooment is a nationally orchestrated party season for 'bacchanal', and the 22nd of February is officially "Rihanna Day". In fact, Rihanna - the 'good girl gone bad', is the appointed 'Youth & Cultural Ambassador' for this 'Christian nation'.
This dual-faced religious culture runs deep in Barbados and rears it's head frequently. Bible verses are thrown around like 'big rocks' on the call-in radio programs whenever hot topics like homosexuality, prostitution or the death penalty come up. Yet, somehow, issues like the rampant child and domestic abuse here are swept under the rug. In one breath, 'Christian' morals must be enforced because it's our culture and in the next breath abuse, misogony & homophobia are also ok because it's our culture.
Life in Barbados has taught me a couple of things.
1. Many people, perhaps most, suffer from a really bad case of 'keeping up appearances'.
Deep down we all know this.
Because most Bajans consider themselves Christian in some way, it's very important for them to feel like they are keeping the 'good ol' days' alive, and not succumbing to the crazy liberal ways of the modern developed world.
From this perspective, part of what it means to be Christian is to know what the accepted 'Christian' position is on a handful of big issues and stick to your guns. In this context the rationalle that 'this is the way things have been for hundreds of years' is somehow irrefutable. This is the default posture taken and defended whenever one of the tried and true 'Christian positions' is challenged. The assumption is that the past was always better, and the present and future world as a looming danger to fight off.
At all costs the appearance of "Christianity" must be maintained through these mantras, even if they are not understood.
Which leads me to the something else...
2. People will fight tooth and nail for ideas they don't seem to think through and don't seem to understand.
The problem of parroting.
A few years ago, my husband and I lived out in the 'countryside' of Barbados, surrounded by lots of trees, fruits and animals, including several caged parrots belonging to our landlord. Early on a morning, trucks would come to collect the bananas our landlord cultivates to deliver them across the island.
As a result, ever so often when we passed by these caged parrots we would hear the eerie 'beep beep beep beep' of an invisible reversing truck. Without knowing why the truck beeps or what it means this parrot had developed the habit of warning us of an approaching reversing vehicle.
The parrot was saying something, without knowing what it's saying or the implications of what it's said - only because it has heard it repeated over and over.
Unfortunately, I think many people, especially those in any 'bible-belt' or hyper-conservative culture, suffer from parrot syndrome far too often - we hear something repeated over and over throughout our lives until we start to repeat it ourselves.
And so often, we never pause to really examine what it is we're really saying.
This is what leads to that 'Lubbock Texas' mentality which tells people that "God loves you" and "you're going to burn in hell" or that "sex is an awful, filthy thing" and so you should save it for someone you love.
A "Parrot" squaks out that a homosexual couple should be imprisoned while having two outside women, and a 'child mudduh'. Parrots praise the imprisonment of a young person caught with a spliff, but justify the drunkenness of the judge that convicts them. They are 'pro-life' but support punishment by death because it's in the 'good book'. They argue with Muslims that want to institutionalize morality, but turn around and do try to do the same thing.
To be honest, I'm really tired of it. I know these problems are neither new, nor unique to Barbados.
I'm tired of the "Bible-belt" as a whole. Wherever it may be. It frustrates and discourages me. And yet, like Barbados, it's a part of me. I was raised fully immersed in this culture. I parotted these same ideas myself until I started to examine what it was I was really saying.
I have no desire to be bitter. Sometime I am. I admit it. Some of this stuff really pisses me off. But bitterness doesn't help.
So what does help?
Does one just pick up move?
Leave the small town-Lubbock-Texas, Bridgetown-Barbados mentality behind?
That would be easy right?
But No.
Because as anyone who's grown up in a similar situation knows, this is your family and friends.
The people you love, with ways of thinking you hate.
Plus, this isn't an issue easily contained nor outrun. If so, I doubt we'd be facing Trump as the next potential president of the United States.
So what? Where's my punchline, my closing thought? My solution?
Honestly, I don't really have one.
Getting into debates and arguments doesn't help. In fact it may make matters worse.
But silence also makes one complicit to the ignorance doesn't it?
I'm trying to find the balance.
There is a saying that “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
I can only hope that this is true. And applies to truth, logic and knowledge as well.
Or I fear we may totally evolve into a species colorful bird-humans. Oh wait - there's no such thing as evolution! Phew.
;)